Athletes convince HK to love motherland

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Hong Kong is dragged into an orgy of orchestrated patriotic pride to mark a visit by China’s Olympic gold medalists. (Is this an insult to orgies? Probably.)

Four years ago, Hong Kong managed a reasonably sincere, if not terribly rapturous, welcome for the glorious motherland’s victorious athletes. Since then, a pro-independence movement –or at least something that insists it is one – has sprung up in the city, and the authorities are freaking out.

The government must have held a mini-conference with the title “Presence of sporting heroes: threats and opportunities”. To counter either an embarrassingly low turnout or rampaging hordes of splittists gatecrashing events, officials switched to a smaller, more controllable venue (which naturally has to be named after Queen Elizabeth) and searched everyone’s bags. They also placed tight security around the athletes’ hotel. To maximize warm and cuddly positive energy, they arranged for bronze-winning swimmer Fu Yuanhui, of inane-grinning fame, to join the otherwise docile stars.

Following an extravagant welcome at the airport (red carpet, police band, Carrie Lam), the athletes did various shows, one of which involved mass skipping – as in skipping ropes – greeted by squeals of delight and amazement by an easily impressed crowd. The audience included many elderly folk, some apparently rather bemused at being there first thing in the morning for the lengthy check-in procedures. (Video conveying tortuousness of the extravaganza here.)

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It would be heartwarming to report that Hongkongers were so enraptured by feelings of unity with China that they came to the show in Mainland-looking hairstyles and clothing, and carried signs in simplified characters. But the South China Morning Post spills the beans, deep inside its story, mentioning that Mainlanders ‘abounded’ – though we could be generous and give honorary Hongkonger-status to one of them for being called Sybil…

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The opportunity to win local hearts and minds was bound to be limited. To guarantee maximum alienation of the community, the poor athletes were required to recite cringe-making gibberish about how everyone is the same Chinese family. (Communist Party obtuseness at its finest here: if they had let Ms Fu loose on the streets to tell everyone about her periods we’d all be rushing out to vote for Starry Lee on Sunday.) More fictitious puke on athletes spreading national identity in Hong Kong over at Global Times.

But, as befits a fake and contrived occasion, the celebration presented a magnificent chance for United Front shoe-shiners to prove their loyalty by chucking money away on full-page ads in the newspapers. Very Mainland-style ads (I suspect the artwork is from over the border). So it wasn’t a total waste of time…

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11 Responses to Athletes convince HK to love motherland

  1. reductio says:

    “C’mon Fu show us yer smile [click] … C’mon…Oooh yes, that’s lovely,[click, click] …nice,… hold on. Bit more to the side pet. …Let’s see those teeth. Make it cheeky…that’s it! [click]… Let’s see that grin… [click] Think of China! Think of China! [click] You’re a naughty one! flash those teeth,..[click] that’s right. How about a full frontal smile? Quirky. Love it, love it.” [click] .

  2. The SCMP was funny as usual…it was all relaxed and unpolitical they said, principally because the country lost. It only gets political when they win. This is like spoilt children the world over who only make a thing of something when they have won it.

    It was one of the biggest cockups in recent CCP history. Many heads will roll and more money will go into dog penis, deer antler and ginseng to make them more undetectable. Or perhaps they will all go on crystal meth, at least up to 2019. So much of the stuff on the Mainland after all.

  3. Hank Morgan says:

    puke …. indeed.

  4. Chinese Netizen says:

    It’s all about “sportsmanship” when you score behind GB in the gold count, eh flatulent, obese and corrupt shoe-polish heads?

  5. Boris Badanov says:

    The govt looks more and more like a beleaguered colonial administration everyday. Any govt that doesn’t trust its own citizens will one day stumble or collapse, especially a lily livered one like HK’s that doesn’t have the stomache to resort to really brutal suppressing tactics like their sponsors across the border

  6. reductio says:

    “Zhang Mengxue, who clinched China’s first Games gold in shooting, dazzled fans as she took aim at balloons with an air gun while balancing on a vibrating exercise machine.”

    And the video …?! Lame-o to the zillionth power + the first number you thought of. What on earth was that badminton guy doing? If he’d hit it through plate steel I’d have been impressed, but paper thin balsa? I think the whole thing is a false flag op by the CCP to force HKers to rush onto the streets and declare independence so the tanks can roll in.

  7. LRE says:

    Judging by the footage I saw of the athletes arriving on Tarmac at chep lap kok, the old folk weren’t the only bemused people — except for the grinning idiot, every single one had the fixed grin and perplexed brow of someone who has no idea what the hell they’re doing here but knowing they’ll be in trouble if they don’t do whatever it is they’re supposed to do

  8. Flip-Flopper says:

    They look doped up to the eyeballs. Mind you, if I was forced to carouse with Carrie Lam, I would be too.

  9. Knownot says:

    reductio – Very good.

    (I wish I’d been at the photo session.)

  10. Mary Melville says:

    Spare a kind thought for those athletes. After 4 years of hard grind they should be winding down and hanging out getting their rocks off.
    Instead they are forced to do the rounds of the peripheral provinces and look like they enjoy putting on a show and attending dreary speech laden, get as many dishes on the tables in record time, banquets.
    They deserve the applause.

  11. ChoppedOnions says:

    “as she took aim at balloons with an air gun while balancing on a vibrating exercise machine.” Phnaw Phnaw Phnaw……
    Beijing’s version of a well known Bangkok bar game? and just as perplexing and slightly unpleasant to watch…

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