Bunny as spin-doctor

His Highness Imperial Field Marshal Grand Vizier Admiral Bunny Chan tries to explain the spontaneously created Hong Kong Army Cadets SCMP-ArmyCadetsSecrecyAssociation and its high-profile-but-secretive inauguration ceremony last weekend. It is a challenging task.

The status quo before the weekend was that Hong Kong lacked a uniformed youth organization that stressed the patriotic-style Chinese-ness fed to children everywhere else in the PRC. Hong Kong people were relaxed and comfortable with this; top officials in Beijing were nervous and panicky. The situation since the weekend is that Hong Kong does formally have such a group. Now it is Hongkongers who are freaking out over this alien and creepy presence, and the Chinese officials who feel calmer and reassured that the former British colony has been made a little more normal and user-friendly.

The best Bunny can do to satisfy this irreconcilable puzzle is come up with excuses – essentially variants on ‘the dog ate my homework’.

Bunny says he tried to get the local press invited to the event, but the site is a military area and it was very difficult to get the necessary approvals. This is baloney: the local media have covered open days at the PLA facility on Stonecutters Island with no problem in the past, and several hundred young people were allowed (lured, dragged) in for last weekend’s inauguration. The gathering was exclusive to Mainland propaganda organs because the target audience was in Beijing. As well as lowering the tone of the solemnities in no uncertain manner, the Hong Kong press would have raised the event’s profile among local residents, possibly provoking hostility or, when Education Secretary Eddie Ng waddled into view dressed like Idi Amin, fits of laughter.

So why, some tiresome reporter insisted on asking, was the ceremony held at the PLA base? Bunny’s response: they didn’t charge us rent. While clearly a desperate and ludicrous answer, on Planet Hong Kong it’s also completely reasonable.

On the bigger issue of the Army Cadets’ whole purpose, Bunny flounders. The answer, it seems, is ‘marching skills’, so young people can ‘get fit and strong’. In plain language: please don’t make me lose face by asking any more questions.

It’s just another day of bashing a square peg into a round hole. And the cavalry comes to Bunny’s rescue in the form of Beijing’s latest contrived, orchestrated mass outbreak of patriots all simultaneously spouting the same weirdness – this time, the idea that Hong Kong should come under China’s national security laws. We are supposed to pay attention, tremble in awe, and wise up – and infer… whatever it is we’re supposed to infer.

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15 Responses to Bunny as spin-doctor

  1. Cassowary says:

    I reckon the purpose of the national security scaremongering is to soften us up for Article 23.

    I’m not too clear on the legalities (not that Beijing cares about those), but is there any possibility that the NPC could just “interpret” China’s national security laws into the Basic Law overnight? No debate, no discussion, no LegCo, no CE approval, just “We’ve decided the Basic Law means you have to follow our national security laws. Suck it.”

    They wouldn’t even have to do it. They’d just have to make us think that they’re considering it. And suddenly Article 23 wouldn’t seem so bad anymore.

  2. Oneleggoalie says:

    Is Bunny gay ?…Oneleg knows friends named Bunny…one is retarded…the other…gay…
    …the girls have nothing to worry about…but the boys better not bend down for soap.

    They couldn’t pass Article 23 the last time…little chance now…what with social media capable of moving the masses…right ?… =-O

  3. Stephen says:

    The almighty, all knowing and powerful CCP (and their pathetic Hong Kong sycophants) have had 79 days to stew and plot and have decided to go on the all-out attack – this all looks a little bit planned and calculated to me. As expected Bunny doesn’t quite get the hard party line quite right and sounds wet. Presumably wheeling out Tung is to remind us of simpler, happier days but, with same message.

    There is nothing inherently wrong with a well written, properly consulted liberal Article 23 law however, close to 18 years after the handover, the Pro-Dems (still mostly banned from the mainland) and CCP have zero trust and cooperation with each other – a bit like the dark days of the second half of 1989.

    I imagine it’s going to be quite a big march come July whilst Bunny and his 300 Spartans (Cadets) can line up at Grand Bauhinia Square and show off their new medals whilst the old Ukrainian aircraft carrier sails through the harbour.

  4. Big Al says:

    It’s just dawned on me … the Hong Kong Army Cadets IS the Bottom Inspectors! Check-out http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/013-15-bottominspectors.jpg and http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/014-04-bottominspectors.jpg for the eerie parallels, particularly the uniforms. I look forward to the Hong Kong Army Cadets becoming the butt of many jokes in the long years ahead!

  5. Headache says:

    The central government could impose a national security law on HK up the back passage provided by Basic Law annex 3, although it’d obviously prefer CY or some successive stooge to do it by virtue of article 23.

  6. Chinese Netizen says:

    To beat a dead horse…this is ALL way too Third Reich-y.
    Education Minister who has a uniform in his closet with a few medals (earned for what, when, and how?) ready to go? Do ALL the ministers have likewise? Were they ISSUED uniforms upon becoming ministers??
    Hell…even the Grand Poobah, Xi J.P. doesn’t have any medals on his CMC uniform.
    The Eddie/Idi comparo almost had the coffee coming out the nostrils!!!
    Jerry Sandusky could not have thought of a better scheme for exclusive access to nubile, young boys…

  7. Gooddog says:

    Nice summary of the last six months – Beijing has lost big time in HK.

  8. Stanley Gibbons says:

    The medals are presumably Bauhinia Stars etc

  9. Cassowary says:

    Tung withdrew Article 23 back in 2003 because James Tien jumped ship at the last minute. Theoretically they could pass it now without the Liberal Party. 70 seats minus 27 democrats minus 5 liberals = 38. They would just have to be willing to give a giant middle finger to public opinion. I don’t think they’d try it in the next couple of years, but they’re probably trying to create an air of inevitability about the whole thing.

    As for yesterday’s “six year olds of good character” bizarreness, Mr. Cassowary, who works with small children, assures me that by that age you can already tell that some of them are little sh**s.

  10. Joe Blow says:

    Idi Amin used to throw his opponents into Lake Victoria, to be eaten by crocodiles. And he had a jolly sense of humor.

    If Idi was CEO of Hong Kong today, he would be more popular than 689.

  11. Scotty Dotty says:

    Great summary by Hemmers today. Can Bunny The Tongue ever live this post down?

    @ Cassowary

    Ms Cassowary speaks wise words! Having seen two lots of school kids from kindergarten age to university age I agree totally. The little shits were as obvious as the good ‘uns from very early on.

    And, sadly, there was a very close correlation with their parents. All the good uns had parents of a certain sort.

    And as a side note, every Tiger Mum we’ve seen has ended up disappointed. Not a single one of the tiglets has come out any use to anyone.

  12. Cassowary says:

    He's a Mr. Cassowary, not a Ms.

    I did wonder what the hell went on with the children of Law Wan-ting, the woman on trial for torturing Erwiana Sulistyaningsih. How did they live in a house where that went on? Did they get beaten into submission too? Then they testified on behalf of their mother and cleared everything up. They're little shits too. By their own words they were completely unconcerned that their maid slept on the floor, worked past midnight, and had weeping sores on her feet.

  13. reductio says:


    Well, on the bright side that Law bitch will go down and the judge has up to seven years to play with. I’d also have those kids up on perjury. Didn’t see anything remiss? Ridiculous.

  14. Peter says:

    Quite right, Cassowary. I await the sentencing with bated breath.

    Now, to return to the vitally important question of the medals worn by Eddie, Regina, Bunny and that other bloke on the left.

    Can anyone please provide a definitive answer as to what on earth they were wearing?

    Bunny’s “rack” is particularly puzzling as he seems to be sporting a combination of full sizers and miniatures, something that is simply never done.

    If anyone has any info, please spill the beans. Otherwise I’m going to have to write to these four plonkers and ask them myself.

  15. Peter says:

    OK, guys, I think I’m getting warmer.

    It seems that Bunny is wearing miniatures of his Silver Bauhinia Star (SBS), awarded 2009, and his Gold Bauhinia Star (GBS), awarded 2014. As the latter is an advance on the former, I believe that only the GBS should be worn, but in any case, it is inappropriate to wear miniatures with uniform.

    Hapless Eddie seems to be wearing a miniature of his SBS, again inappropriate with uniform. He is also, however, wearing a full size medal with a red ribbon. This looks very like a GBS, but I can find no record of his having been awarded one. I hope he hasn’t gone and done a Miles Jackson-Lipkin and bought a Legion d’Honneur in the Portobello Road.

    That just leaves the medals with the yellow-green-yellow striped ribbons. The bloke on the left, Regina Higgins, and Bunnykins are each wearing a brace of these mystery gongs, while poor little Eddie sports but one. I can’t find any record of such tin-ware in government records,


    so if anyone recognises these things, please let us know.

    All in all, a very rum state of affairs indeed. The Commander in Chief (sic) and her three gallant musketeers look an absolute shower. Doesn’t bode well at all for the reputation of this freshly-minted band of crack patriots.

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