Meanwhile, any chance of a THAAD system?

In the foothills of northern Hong Kong Island, herds of Korean tourists are making their seasonal migration. The older ones move in large mixed packs, closely tailing their leaders; the younger ones, mostly female, sport bright lipstick and selfie-sticks, and travel in pairs.

If their numbers seem massive, it is partly because they are. But it is also because these visitors concentrate themselves into specific spots along specific routes. Only a few ever stray more than a street away from the designated track, and those who do look clueless and vulnerable, maybe even fearful, as they consult their guidebooks.

More than most incurious, unadventurous, non-exploring modern tourists, the Koreans seem to follow exact compulsory instructions on where to go, down the exact square foot of sidewalk. The classic example is the Tai Cheong Bakery, venerable purveyor of authentic ancient traditional hand-crafted secret-recipe custard tarts (stock code 573). The Koreans do not seem to mind (or notice?) that all the other customers dutifully standing in line outside are their fellow-countrymen…

The next item on the list: Place You Must Have Your Photograph Taken, Number 7 – a nondescript mural on a narrow street rising from Hollywood Road. Because every Korean must come here, it gets crowded…

While waiting for a space in this required selfie-taking location, a few Koreans are squeezed out into nearby lanes…

Nothing against the Land of Morning Calm, whose people also suffer (usually) from over-tourism. But two things are apparent. First, obviously they don’t have murals in Seoul, so even the rather feeble ones in Hong Kong are a magnet. Second, the imitation-trendy-hipsters who paint pseudy pictures on Soho’s walls don’t realize that they have found a way to entice Koreans, in the way (say) pots of honey would attract bears.

Business opportunity: Tai Cheong Bakery and local quasi-hipster muralists launch a joint venture, relocate to Korea, make millions, and provide widespread relief to the rest of us.

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10 Responses to Meanwhile, any chance of a THAAD system?

  1. Koreans are the most psychotic and dangerous of all peoples in Asia. It isn’t just North Korea. I have been to the South and I know. The truth is that the South Koreans are equally blighted as the crazy Northerners: aggressive, alcoholic, introverted, xenophobic. I am sure they feel at home with you in schizoid Soho and barking mad Mid Levels.

    Thank you by the way for the pictures of your new girlfriend in your photographic collage header above. Thankfully you have trained her already to keep a face mask on.

  2. Big Al says:

    Similar to Korean tourists, ants also follow an invisible trail as they move from A to B in their thousands. Using a finger to swipe over part of the trail causes mass confusion to the ants as there is a break in the scent trail and so they have no idea where to go. I wonder if the same applies to Korean tourists? Simply take a sturdy brush and some disinfectant in a bucket and scrub the floor between the end of one escalator and the start of the next, then see what happens. I’d do it myself, except I work on the Dark Side and so don’t have the time to pop over to mid-levels … Anyone else game?

  3. Red Dragon says:

    Well, Lonesome George the Ginger Tortoise will have a job grafting some pseudo-Marxist clap-trap onto this one, Hemmers. Alas, you never know, so we’d best not count our chickens.

    What he’ll probably do, however, is spout more of his predictable inanities about your never leaving So Ho, or never going to visit him in his grotty fastness.

    Frightful place, Stanley, don’t you think?

    THAADS all round, say I.

  4. Chinese Netizen says:

    You ought to see the armies of camera toting visitors both Asiatic AND Caucasoid in the graffiti decorated alleys of the Mission District of San Francisco. Only plus is that the roads and sidewalks are wider as well as less population density.

    Plus, I’ll take a good taqueria over egg tarts any day…

  5. Giorgio Giomani says:

    With regard to Loathsome George (@Georgio Nomani today) – may I suggest we all employ this method:

    Mokusatsu (黙殺) is a Japanese noun literally meaning “kill” with “silence”, and is used with a verb marker idiomatically to mean “ignore”, “take no notice of” or “treat with silent contempt”. It is composed of two kanji characters: 黙 (moku “silence”) and 殺 (satsu “killing”).

    After all it’s what Hemlock himself does. Just let Adams keep posting his bile here, and with every line he is hammering another nail into his own reputation. No further comments about his stupidity from us are required. Anyone who visits this site for years to come will know what kind of specimen little Georgie is.

  6. reductio says:

    Why not take a selfie next to e.g. a dead cat, some illegal NT dumping (building and/or human), a LKF pavement on a Sunday morning, or some such. Very edgy and, as stereotype-challenging “argent [sic] provocatour [sic]” , you will be guaranteed space in the new M+ pavilion.

  7. @Red Dragon – spot on, with an added dose of racism to season the mix.

  8. LRE says:

    I doubt we’ll get a THAAD.
    Firstly, the PLA are seriously anti-THAAD, what with it dangerously invalidating the old Mutually Assured Destruction and giving the US nuclear first-strike-with-impunity capabilities — which is why they’ve let the rabid one-eyed pit-bull that is the DPRK off the leash.
    More importantly though, I’m not sure the US would be able to afford the golf club fees required to park the system: probably way more expensive than the missiles.

  9. Red Dragon says:

    Haha! I posted my comment before l saw the Tortoise’s, and, lo and behold, l was partly right.

    No make it up as you go along Marxist guff, but the anticipated dig at SoHo.

    Also, a small bonus in the form of the pathetic little claim that he has been to South Korea. I mean, hasn’t everyone?

    Dire stuff, as ever, from the biggest jerk who ever lived. Stanley may be a khazi, but it sure doesn’t deserve Lonesome George.

  10. Knownot says:

    Dear Korean chicks
    Well made-up and cute
    Posing at the mural
    For a photo-shoot,

    Queueing up so nicely
    With your trusting hearts
    At the local baker
    For authentic tarts —

    That quiet, gloomy fellow
    Slyly taking snaps
    Muttering resentfully
    Loves you too, perhaps.

    Late at night he sighs
    Words he dare not speak:
    Yobo, leave your lips
    Printed on my cheek!

    [yobo, Korean = darling]

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