Carrie ‘Dead on Arrival’ Lam concludes her reluctant, badly simulated and timid-verging-on-fearful campaign for Hong Kong’s Chief Executive quasi-election. The by-invitation-only rigged poll takes place Sunday. A police spokesman ventures to suggest that ‘it is possible some people will be unhappy with the result’. For extra added ominous foreboding doom, the heavens will darken and the city will be deluged with freezing storms and an outbreak of bubonic pustules.
Carrie’s last message to Her People in newspaper ads today repeats an earlier theme: ‘By resolving the simpler, less controversial issues first, we can rebuild mutual trust’. Does she really believe this? It is absurd to think lack of consensus is a cause rather than effect of problems. And the problems that cause the discontent are big and, apparently, difficult. And the lack of ‘trust’ is ultimately not between factions within Hong Kong but between China’s Communist one-part regime and the pluralistic city as a whole (including its pro-Beijing shoe-shiners).
That mistrust extends to the incompetent local governments that Beijing insists on installing. Carrie will hit the ground failing – lacking not only vision or hope, but any shred of legitimacy. No-one wants Carrie Lam as Chief Executive (including Carrie Lam).
I declare the weekend open with an amusing game. A group of mentally deranged people propose to use 80 hectares (23 Taikoo Shings) of Hong Kong land to build a car-racing circuit. (To attract tourists, but that sort of goes without saying. Is it tourism that causes lunacy, or the other way round?)
Car-racing, also known for mystical reasons as ‘Formula 1’, is a bit like golf, in that it is boring and pointless, and attracts a following of fans to match. Golfers’ one saving grace is that they are 14.7 times more likely than average humans to be struck by lightning. Racing drivers occasionally crash and explode into smithereens. But both these events, tragically, occur far too rarely to rescue the sports from their extreme tedium. (Most synaptically functional people would surely find watching Ng On-yee’s recent 9 hours 30 minutes snooker triumph more stimulating.)
The game is: Think Up an Even Bigger Waste of Hong Kong Space. (Not including golf courses, which already exist.) The first prize will be 3,071 left-over copies of Carrie Lam’s manifesto found flapping in the fragrant breeze of Tseung Kwan O landfill.