Exciting New Tourist-Repulsion Strategy Unveiled

At last – a Hong Kong government U-turn on tourism. For years, officials have implemented a strict Cram More Tourists In Endlessly policy, inflicting misery on residents. I am delighted to see that the Tourism Board is now implementing a subtle strategy to repel visiting hordes. Behold its list of our Top 10 Attractions

Anyone who knows Hong Kong can tell you that these are among the most tedious or simply unpleasant places in the city.

The Peak – as tourists experiance it – is a wind-swept plaza of tacky shops. Avenue of Stars/TST Promenade/Clock Tower are the same thing, with classic view often obscured by smog. Ladies Market is full of tat, and I bet Temple Street is a shadow of its former self, back when self-taught dentists extracted teeth on the sidewalk (it’s a while since I’ve been). Ocean Park sounds overcrowded (never been), and we don’t even need to mention Disneyland. Golden Bauhinia Square is a sick joke approaching its 20th anniversary. Last, and probably least, is Lan Kwai Fong.

For a change of scene on the way to the office, I strolled through the ‘party hot spot’ this morning. And this is what it looked like…

If this doesn’t solve the tourism menace, nothing will.

Also long overdue – a mature, aware, considered and overall sensible discussion about Hong Kong’s Chief-Executive quasi-election.



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26 Responses to Exciting New Tourist-Repulsion Strategy Unveiled

  1. Chris Maden says:

    For those who don’t have the time to sit through the whole of the link at the bottom, fast forward to about the 2:45 mark. These kids know exactly where China’s taking this town…

  2. Joe Blow says:

    I am doing a survey of the age groups of Big Lychee readers. If you are a regular visitor to this fascinating site, please take a moment and tell us how old you are.

    Okay, I’ll start: 39-ish y.o.

  3. HillnotPeak says:

    Very impressed by these kids. They make more sense then any DAB auntie or uncle.

  4. What a giveaway!

    ” I bet Temple Street is a shadow of its former self”

    It’s still close to an MTR station. Go on. Have an Awayday! It’s Spring after all. Leave the vomit and desperation of Central behind you.

  5. pie-chucker says:

    Open-minded, knowledgeable youngsters: their school should be proud of them, and Hong Kong.

    Hope some computer savvy reader can get this up on the Liaison Office’s new Facebook page.

  6. WTF says:

    The video was pretty good, surprising for a SCMP production. I was shocked that the answers were not edited further. I assume it’s because the interview was spoken in Cantonese, only English subtitles, and thus relatively inaccessible to mainlanders outside the PRD.

    It was interesting to see the differences between the two relatively new (non-PRD origin) immigrant students, both sitting to the left. The boy, who spoke Cantonese with the heaviest accent (and looks like his parents likely were from North China), was pro-Lam. The girl’s opinions, (or as with the boy — more likely her parents opinions) were far more localized, against Lam, for Wu; and clearly did not want a CCP sock puppet further restricting transparency (and colluding with the existing oligarchy?).

    The little tap for more international schools (and thus competition to the existing oligarchy’s limited private schooling)m rejection of TSA, all is yet another indication of the hate for both Eddie Ng and Lufsig. We can expect both will continue to shy away from appearing in public without a body guard contengent for a long time.

  7. A bit grumpy today, aren’t we? Ocean Park is actually one of the few places on the list that really is worth a visit. And the Peak is like Niagara Falls – just turn your back on the tourist tat and enjoy the incredible view.

    I note that not a single one of Hong Kong’s many museums makes the list; the Maritime Museum at least is well worth seeing. Nor does the Star Ferry, which used to be on the must-see list for tourists. In fact the selection raises the question “who is this list for?” I think the presence of Golden Bauhinia Square, which no local person I know has ever visited, gives us the answer to that one.

    @Joe Blow – in my sixties.

  8. Stephen says:

    Could have asked the kids …

    Q There is an election on Sunday for the Chief Executive but only 1200 special people allowed to vote, not your parents, not your teachers, do you know why ?

    A That’s right – because China is terrified that if Hong Kong gets a free vote other voices in China might want the same for China ?

    Q Do you know what would happen to the CCP if there was a free, democratic election in China ?

    A That’s right – They would be annihilated and we would all live happy ever after.

    Q Do you know the difference between a “real” election and the 2017 Chief Executive election ?

    A That’s right – it’s a complete fix as 800 + of the special people have been told to vote for Carrie Lam because she won’t cause China any trouble and will do exactly as she told by the CCP.

    Q What do you think about people who lie to you and try and convince you that it is a real election and they have a free vote ?

    A That’s right – you call them scum or The DAB …

  9. Knownot says:

    The children are at an international school. That’s why they want the government to build more intenational schools.

  10. reductio says:

    @Joe Blow

    Late early 50’s.

  11. Slartiebartfast says:


    Late late 50s

  12. PCC says:

    I’m 25 years old, single, GSOH and I love walking barefoot on the beach at sunset.

  13. LRE says:

    I feel really sorry for those kids: life under the CPC will be a terrible disappointment — although I guess if their folks can afford International School, they’ve probably all got Canadian passports.

    And as if that weren’t bad enough, they’ll probably cop the worst of global warming, vis-à-vis wars, food shortages and refugee crises.

    @Joe Blow
    Old enough to know better! late 40s

  14. Duncan says:

    Stephen, you can take that script to the bank.

  15. WTF says:

    +++TSA pressure & International School. Does not compute….+++
    +++Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++

    School is either government or DSS, as one look at the class assignments on the blackboard would confirm (Referenced to government standard curriculum and government textbooks).

  16. monkey king says:

    Its not really a secret secret anymore (i.e. packed on Sat/Sun), but just 100 metres north of Temple Street, opposite the old po-po station, in a little housing complex called Prosperous Gardens is…

    The best arthouse cinema in Hong Kong, broadway cinematheque. Very crowded over the weekend these days, but still not too busy during weekdays and evenings.

    The best DVD shop in Hong Kong bar none (though prices are dear). Huge collection of world cinema titles organized by director. Full catalogue of jarmusch, wenders, kurosawa,etc etc.

    One of the best bookshops for philosophy, art, cinema books and periodicals in Hong Kong (Kubricks), with coffeeshop attached.

    It neighbours the wholesale fruit market which is also worth a look late eve. You can in fact wander directly north from here to sham shui po or lai chi kok, and avoid the crazy part of mongkok altogether (except for langham place).

    Use openrice and find some amazing gems – one dish noodle or dumpling restaurants – along this stretch too, especially towards prince edward or lai chi kok.

    @joe blows – i am an adolescent child, trapped in the body of mid 30s male.

  17. dimuendo says:

    Joe Blow

    Shortly to enter my seventh decade. If anybody would like to commiserate and help me mark the event, let me know.

  18. Probably says:

    Why is the Museum of Coastal Defence not on the must see list? Every visitor I have had in Hong Kong loves it.

    @Joe Blow, same as as Brad Pitt but kept my looks

  19. Penus Wong says:


    re age survey: is lying compulsory ?

  20. Donny Almond says:

    I am the same age as Marie Almond. I was born on the twilight side of the mountain.

  21. The Long Haired Lover from Hartlepool says:

    I went to school with Lena Zavaroni.

  22. Reader says:

    In the most important small-circle poll of the week, with my extra vote, the mid-fifties have it by a landslide.

  23. dragonfly says:

    @ Joe Blow
    I’m a regular visitor to this website, although I haven’t ventured any comments before. If that still counts me in for your age survey, I’m 42.
    Thanks for the creative and ascerbic daily briefings, Hemlock. Keep it up.

  24. @Monkey King – there are other points of interest in this area. Historic buildings include the wholesale fruit market, Hong Kong’s oldest cinema (now a Chinese opera venue), and the historic Red Brick Building (that appears to be its only name) on Shanghai Street. Near this is a cluster of shops selling everything a chef could need, from a chopping board to a cheese knife, a wok to a wineglass, at sensible prices.

  25. Gromit says:

    @JoeBlow. Regular reader but don’t comment often. Enjoy both Hemlock’s insights. 56, by the way.

  26. WTF says:

    Just got an email back from the Testing Authority, which I had sent weeks ago on TSA. In it they confessed (so untypical) they have no idea who is suppose to sit the TSA, and sent my quiry on to Education Dept (who in turn still has not answered).

    Some other items in the email confirm the test was not a local product, but purchased. This confirms Fanny Law and Pearsons have something going on, the question then is it legal? http://www.scmp.com/comment/insight-opinion/article/2054163/hong-kong-must-not-revive-detested-tsa-exam
    Natch, that last question is rhetorical.

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