Exclusive interviews reveal candidates’ profundity, wisdom

Contenders in Hong Kong’s phony but nonetheless quirky and entertaining Chief Executive ‘election’ grant exclusive interviews to lucky media outlets.

Beijing’s pre-determined winner Carrie Lam does an interview with Bloomberg – an ideal way to reach the more economically literate end of the audience-spectrum. But she is devoid of ideas except for a charming hope that by spending more of the government’s budget surplus she can ‘make everyone happier’. She also says she is puzzled as to why she is coming second in public opinion polls, which are of at least symbolic importance in the appointment process.

For an answer, she could check the South China Morning Post’s big coverage of John Tsang, who gave his interview in the form of a trendy Facebook Live online-streaming thing (Facebook being one of the many things in life, such as toilet paper-procurement, MTR travel and Mainland beggars, of which Carrie is blissfully ignorant).

John gets into the major issues. He insists his hand-shake with Chinese leader Xi Jinping was ‘a big deal’. His position on Silver Surfer is that the alien humanoid is a ‘contradictory type of character’. If he becomes Chief Executive, he would consider naming a street after Bruce Lee, who ‘gave Asians manhood’. How can the guy not wipe the floor with Carrie?

Meanwhile, the media – in common with former friends, Chinese government officials and the public as a whole – are paying no attention to third candidate Regina Ip. After years of being obnoxious to pro-democrats to show her worth to Beijing, she is now desperately groveling for nominations from the very same opposition. Hilariously funny or what?

The unseemly groveling continues with a visit to the Taoist Association, which she attempts to win over with the deplorable idea of public resources for religious bodies ‘to promote their faiths and contribute to community services’. She claims that some of the Taoists will support her, but their boss says they haven’t yet decided. Thus Regina is learning the answer to the ancient question: What is the sound of one hand clapping?

On the subject of religion, I declare the weekend open with Funniest Jewish Joke of the Week here (should start at 4m02s to 4m52s, but the whole 15-minute epic movie is quite amusing).

 

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8 Responses to Exclusive interviews reveal candidates’ profundity, wisdom

  1. Controller says:

    Nice to have you back…I hear Langley, Virginia is nice this time of year.

  2. LRE says:

    Ahem: One hand clapping is Zen. What Vagina will hopefully learn from the Taoist Association is he concept of Wu Wei : When the right man does nothing, there is nothing that he does not affect.

  3. Red Dragon says:

    Oooooh, LRE

    That’s deeeeeeeeep, baby.

  4. LRE says:

    Also love the Bloomberg interview video:

    “The challenges for… um… [what’s that place we’re all so ashamed of again? Oh yeah…] Hong Kong will be to continue to suck seed under One Country Two Systems… er… [Oh shit, I’m sure there was something else… but what else is there?…] to continue to give our people… er… [Oh, dear god, here comes the ginormous steaming whopper: look sincere, just like we practiced] a good living environment and a very satisfying…[Don’t laugh! Do NOT laugh] er… [Bite your lip, you’re nearly done, no laughing] living environment. And to nurture our young people to become very responsible civic-minded citizens… um… [Dear lord who wrote this crap?] for… [hell if I know why we need more of the little uppity bastards demanding democracy and accountable government] for the world…[anywhere but Hong Kong, anyway] Yeah. [Thank Christ I got through all those lies without sounding too awful]

    And I declare the weekend properly open with the conviction of Donald Tsang: further proof that the only people that wear bowties are clowns.

  5. anon says:

    WHAT HAPPENED TO ULACA??

  6. Duncan says:

    Anon, don’t you mean Cloaca? Or?

  7. WTF says:

    One hand clapping is Zen Buddhism, next target of Carrie “what, me take a bribe? Just try me… please” Lam. Daoist seek immortality in this life (shows they have not thought it through), rather than relief from rebirth, by working on their Qi Gong, and hanging mirrors, rearrange furniture, etc to infect their neighbors with the bad karma that was suppose to be their due.

  8. Colonial Dinosaur says:

    One little observation: Did not Carrie Lam testify that Donald Tsang was her role model in his recent trial for corruption and misconduct in public office…you know the one that saw him convicted on one count of the aforesaid “misconduct” and now facing up to 7 years in prison as well as a re-trial on the corruption allegation..?

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