US, Fatty Pang unite to interfere in China’s internal affairs

Hong Kong’s last colonial Governor, Chris Patten, appears before a hitherto unheard-of US body called the Congressional-Executive Commission on China, which is holding ‘hearings’, no less, on The Future of Democracy in Hong Kong. To give you an idea of how thorough the commission is, its previous hearings were on Pet SCMP-ChrisPattenTreats and Processed Chicken from China: Concerns for American Consumers and Pets. Honest.

If you read Section 302 of the numerologically intriguing US House of Representatives bill 4444, you will find around two dozen items numbered (a) (1) to (c) (7) describing many of the functions of the commission. But in fact, they all add up to exactly the same single purpose: irritate the Chinese government in every way possible.

Not there’s anything wrong with that. And Fei Pang naturally cannot resist. He repeats his warning to governments against falling into the grubby and unbecoming habit of kowtowing to China in the belief it is necessary for trade access. He also offers avuncular advice to our protesting pro-democracy students, referring to boy-wonder Joshua Wong virtually as the city’s leader-in-waiting. And he drops in a dash of snark about how plutocracy may fit in nicely with socialism with Chinese characteristics. In short, he set out to get up Beijing’s nose. Squeals of outrage about foreign interference will follow in the next few days.

This comes as the Congressional-Executive Commission on China updating the 1992 Hong Kong Policy Act with a Hong Kong Human Rights and Democracy Act. The likelihood that China’s communist one-party state will give true universal suffrage to Hong Kong are essentially zero in the first place, but such a pointed and, by any standards, presumptuous gesture will go down like a cup of cold sick in Beijing and confirm the need to keep Hong Kong undemocratic on principle. More squeals of outrage, etc to come.

As well as organizing grand-sounding discussions to address China-related concerns for American pets, the commission offers a lesson on the dangers of bureaucratic sprawl and Parkinson’s Law. Behold the 55-page User’s Manual explaining, as if to infants, how to use the on-line Political Prisoner Database. There’s no point in getting up Beijing’s nose to the max if you don’t make really really sure even people who have never used or seen a PC before can join in.

I declare the weekend open with the latest hidden subversive message in the Standard’s ever-popular ‘Character Builder’ feature, which is brought to you today by the word ‘ga’. As in ‘ga yau’ – ‘add oil’, or ‘step it up’ – motto of the Umbrella-Occupy movement…

Stan-ga

By ‘weather’, we mean ‘government’.

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11 Responses to US, Fatty Pang unite to interfere in China’s internal affairs

  1. Chris Maden says:

    I’m told that “ga yau” is not Cantonese or Mandarin in origin, but is the local pronunciation of the Japanese “Ganbarimasyo,” (take the first and last syllables) meaning “try hard”/”do your best.” I heard it heaps at exam time while studying at HKU – it’s a very positive, encouraging thing to say.

    Ga yau, Fei Pang!

  2. PD says:

    In Hollywood films, the car is already going as fast as it can, when the hero does something to the gear lever and it shoots forward.

    A similar logical faux-fuyant may lie at the heart of local culture/language. Just as job appraisals stipulate improvement even if the present level is pretty good, so there is confusion, within the “word” ga yauh itself, between taking it to the next level and doing your best.

    Similarly economists thinking in Chinese (deliberately?) blur the distinction between deceleration and shrinking, as in: slow down in the economy.

  3. Stephen says:

    @Chris Maden

    Are you trying, as hard as Chris Patten, to hurt the feelings of the Chinese People ?

    Fei Pang and fellow occupy supporter (and financier) Jimmy Lai have both suggested a “retreat” from occupying to take stock however, they both failed to suggest what’s next? I hope next is not the 2016 Legislative Council Elections when Hong Kong can give the DAB, Liberal, FTU and Vagina / Tien respective parties the battering they so richly deserve.

  4. john says:

    Ah Hong Chai – unelected governor, appointed directly without local participation, imposed by Brits was here to ‘anoint so-called democracy’, a tacit worked well for England for long, long time

    Any Hemmers watch live action of Anson/Martin with NED’s Louisa, one can recall Boy Wonder prowler action mentioned several times (it’ll 30 years in the making)

    More, China already let go – article 23 & love thy country schooling – wondering how many Brits knows Industrial Revolution is sponsored by India or poor Mau Mau or – just endless! And lanky Yanks – forget them as they don’t know much except developing killing machines with remote, lastly which country does not have Sedition Laws?

    Why West love to unload their values and assumptions onto others, be happy I speak your tongue

    Anyhow – movie Boy Wonder is pretty darn good & her theme song is unhindered joy to ears – truly lovely piece with piano, cello, violin

  5. adamsmith says:

    John – you may speak in tongues, as in glossolalia, but I am not sure you speak “our tongue”, as in the fair English language. And if those pesky yanks had not invented the internet, then where would you get your 5 mao?

    Stephen – there are many locals who think the democrats will be soundly defeated in 2016 in punishment for the “chaos” of the last few weeks. The longer it drags on, sadly I think they may be right.

    There is something peculiar in the mentality of certain older folks in this city, whose heart breaks to see a yellow umbrella at a graduation ceremony, or a broken pane of glass in the much loved Legco, yet seem oddly unbothered by Ken Tsang’s beating or police colluding with triads.

    As we all know, DAB votes are inflated by various dubious canvassing techniques and rely heavily on those who have no idea what they are voting for. Perhaps Scholarism, should take a leaf out of the DAB playbook and visit old people’s homes around election time. Who will the illiterate granny go with to the election booth – the sweet young kid, or brother Lo the triad?

  6. Cassowary says:

    Of course the granny will go with the triad. The sweet kid won’t be back to break anyone’s legs later. And the sweet kid won’t have any free lunches, bags of rice, free haircuts, field trips, or karaoke parties to give away. Those grannies love DAB freebies. They feel that getting free stuff is a fitting and proper sign of respect to one’s elders. Not like those young’uns who only know how to blather into megaphones and give out nothing but leaflets.

    There’s a thing called a right wing authoritarian personality in social psychology. Those are people who like being told what to do. They are most comfortable when some established authority is in charge, and if that authority acts punitively, it’s justified because the victim must have done something wrong.

  7. Headache says:

    Did Hemlock just quote Fungus the Bogeyman? Kudos!

  8. Qian-Jin says:

    OH Dear having terrible finger trouble tonight after three glasses of wine:

    Third attempt:

    Fei Pang ( Official Chinese name: Pang Ding-hong) is now in serious jeopardy of having his Hong Kong “Home” visit permit rescinded next time he attempts to come here to flog his boring books on the infallacy of democracy.

    I’m not sure which guy as governor/chief executive did the most damage to Hong Kong; five years of Fat Patten or seven years of “Bowtie” Tsang. However their combined efforts make one observation plainly clear, PLEASE NO MORE CATHOLICS!

    A really fitting end to the story of these two Hong Kong miscreants would be an announcement that they are to have same-sex wedding ceremony solemnised at the British Embassy in Beijing.

  9. Tiu Fu Fong says:

    @Chris Maden – I think your sources are terribly misinformed.

    ga yau/jia you literally means “add oil”, as in “floor the accelerator and add oil to the combustion engine so things go faster”.

  10. Joe Blow says:

    Support the revolution:

    BOYCOTT LAN KWAI FONG

  11. Joe Blow says:

    Today, by sheer chance, I witnessed this confrontation:

    The Democratic Party, headed bu Albert Ho, had a display in front of Fortress Hill MTR station, handing out leaflets. They were promptly attacked by a dozen very persistent DAB thugs who tried -to no avail- to block and interfere with the Democrats.

    Eventually the police showed up and convinced the DAB triads to back down.

    What struck me was the appearance of the DAB luminaries: some of them were standard DAB activists: middle aged losers with a paunch and a comb-over: the sort that would want to marry Vagina Ip. But there was one guy who looked like a satanist biker: all black, tattoos, leather and chains outfit, sunglasses stuck on top of his head, chainsmoking Marlboros: any mother’s worst nightmare for a son-in-law. And I wondered: where do these ‘things’ come from and who is paying them ?

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