The attendant at a corpse-ignoring Internet café reports that ‘when he went to wake Chen when his 23 hours were up, he saw that his face was blackened and that he was sitting rigidly in the sofa chair’. Far safer, surely, to drag yourself away from the computer and start planning your Valentine’s Day dinner, perhaps at Brasserie Le 
Fauchon in Soho where you can choose between the Classic Set for Two at HK$1,688, the Sweetie Set for Two and the Romantic Set for Two (prices not captured in my impulse photo). Among the offerings at this self-proclaimed French restaurant are crabmeat chowder, salmon with mango ‘rose’, garoupa, and something called Australian Wagyu striploin (M7); an online review notes the establishment’s use of ginger as an ingredient.
A stroll around a rural but nonetheless giant Gallic supermarket a few years ago confirmed that La Republique still has the world’s most chauvinistic and xenophobic cooking. Horsemeat no problem, but chilies, coriander, cumin, soy sauce – let alone ginger – were simply nonexistent. They do not appear in French recipes, so nobody can possibly have any use for them.
The Sweetie Set for Two could be an appropriate way to celebrate the beginning on February 14 of the nomination period for candidates for Hong Kong’s Chief Executive election – which will be every bit as authentic as the Brasserie Le Fauchon fare. A surprising number of people claim to believe Beijing officials when they say that the Central People’s Government does not favour one of the two apparent frontrunners, but this is probably politeness; common sense tells us that the Communist Party is congenitally disposed to control everything it can.
Still, compared with previous exercises, they are doing a good job of making the process look superficially undecided – to the extent that Henry Tang seems somewhat taken aback to find that he is expected to at least pretend to be putting effort into getting the job and doing halfway decently in public opinion ratings. Maybe, having had everything in life handed to him on a plate, he has no clue how to act the part of someone exerting himself.
He is left in a curious position. While his supposed rival CY Leung has released a reasonably detailed if insipid platform, Henry doesn’t seem to have one (other than a vacuous announcement in December). It’s almost as if he imagined that, as with holding a debate, he could unveil a manifesto after the nominations were over, by which time CY’s 23 hours would be up after failing to get the necessary 150 nominations from the 1,200-strong Election Committee. But at least a few of the EC members, unhappy at this clear (and correct) implication that they are a mere rubber stamp, are mumbling about not nominating someone without a declared set of policy pledges. Henry’s team are no doubt going through CY’s proposals and concocting their candidate’s very own load of drivel about helping the middle class and small-medium enterprises. Which is why the countdown to Valentine’s Day will be so especially extra-exciting this year. Meanwhile, you can (preferably with headphones, as it is not aurally suitable for work) listen to them let you know that We Are Tomorrow!*
*Try trimming url to ‘http://wearetomorrow.hk’ or something if it doesn’t work.
Click to hear ‘Get Yourself Together’ by the Small Faces!
Brasserie Le Fauchon and its faux French fare are an allegory for HK. For example, its called an election, there are candidates, even debates, but you end up with the elctoral version of red/white soup, some garoupa with mango and a Hello Kitty/Dear Daniel tiramisu*.
* while Tiramisu means ‘pick me up’, Italians use the term to describe, erm, being ‘pulled off’. Here, culture comes full circle so to speak.
“We are Tomorrow”……doesn’t Henry know that tomorrow never comes?
Although I feel he is more like yesterday’s man.
The reason the French (and Chinese for that matter) place so much emphasis on the sauces in their cooking as opposed to the core ingredients is that they do so to disguise the taste of the poor quality meat used. A good roast beef for example needs nothing more than a gravy made from the roasting tray residue and a bit of horseradish on the side.
I’m sure people aren’t as dumb as you think.
CY Leung is going to make Hong Kong into an ungovernable inferno.
Look into his Transylvanian eyes and ponder the idea that you are wrong.
Fauchons le means let’s rip him off.
@ Rinky Dinky
Well, better an inferno than an insipid wet rag
And if the inferno roasts some tycoon asses on the way the sweet smell will dull the pain of burning
( come to think of it : if I had to to think of one modern symbol which epitomizes henery, it’s a hello kitty doll : it does nothing, says nothing, just lies there looking pretty and cute – and pretty damn stoopid)
RTP: you forgot to add ‘& makes squillions of $$s for it’s owners.
I am contemplating using my tax refund to get some Henry The Horse masks made & some F1 overalls with Sponsorship badges featuring SHK, Cheung Kong, HK Electric, China Estates, ParknRob, Fortress etc, etc. I think a few of us lined up in the South stand would make a great picture for Apple Dailys review of the 7’s.
@ FTP
Count me in !
Great idea !
Sorry – I meant @ FB3
I got carried away with laughing 🙂
And now BOOM BOOM for today’s laugh of the day !
In case you did not read SCMP Laisee last saturday , here’s what he wrote :
“We hear reports of traffic management madness in Wan Chai. A reader writes of heavy police and traffic warden presence at the corner of Hennessy and Luard roads at 9.15am a few days ago. Three motor cycle police and eight traffic wardens were furiously directing traffic and stopping cars from unloading passengers. But things were back to normal by lunchtime in Johnston Road near the Fook Lam Moon restaurant – aka “the tycoon’s canteen” – where there was a long line of double-parked tycoon-mobiles.
The splendid white Rolls-Royce in our picture was conveniently double-parked just past the Fenwick Street junction, making it difficult for buses and cars to turn into Johnston Road and forcing them to cross double white lines and block the trams. This led to a massive tailback into Hennessy Road.
By this time the police and wardens had disappeared, leaving the tycoons to eat in peace.”
So …. guess my amusement ( not to mention the amusement of almost every shop keeper along that little stretch of Johnston Rd …. except the proprietors of the Fook Lam Moon ) when today lunchtime I saw a baby police car parked cheekily outside the tycoon’s canteen, and not a tycoon-mobile in sight, still less parked/ double-parked/ treble-parked .
BTW : the huge white Rolls Laisee referred to had its number plate photo-brushed out in the SCMP pic. But the SCMP editor carelessly left the original pic with the number place in the on-line version of Saturday’s Laisee ( it’s still there as far as know)
It was a personalized number plate : ‘SCARGO’ . Does anyone know which tycoon owns that plate ?
Arthur Scargill
RTP, I have a picture of the FLM sans tycoon’s cars with a police van in front, taken during the LNY. When the Police left an hour later, the cars were back.
Is “SCARGO” the owner of faux French restaurants with spelling difficulties?
I was broefly at the junction of Ship Street and Johnston Road last Wenesday lunchtime and tried to point out the lines of tycoon wagons outside of FLM to 2 traffic wardens, both of whom just ignored me and walked the other way.
Probably connected to this: http://www.scargo.com.hk/