Interior decor update

The depressingly familiar, intensely irritating, million-candlepower grin returns. Self-described feng shui master Tony Chan, massively rewarded Svengali-gigolo/toyboy/lover to property tycoon Nina Wang, opens his 5,000-square foot apartment to Sing Tao and the Standard. In return, the newspapers carry Chan’s vague claim to have some sort of evidence that may help him avoid prosecution for forging the eccentric late billionairess’s will, blah blah blah. And they go easy on his wife’s shame, humiliation, uncertain future, looks, etc. But what we really want to know is: does this larger-than-life gold-digging creep’s interior décor betray his lowly, ill-bred origins?

The jury’s verdict, I think, will be unanimous: Chan is guilty beyond any doubt of nouveau-riche arriviste bad taste…

Exhibit 1: A piano, clearly never-used save as a display for photographs in (probably) gaudy frames. 2: Reproduction antique chest used to store DVDs of Hollywood blockbusters with lots of action and explosions (probably). 3: Nasty satin-effect drape thing to cover a table, like the one on the piano. 4: Vast, tacky, flat-screen TV with expensive sound system including bass speakers that shake furniture and internal organs during Hollywood explosions, plus (probably) smaller speakers at the other end of the room so viewers hear noises behind them during movies, because that’s just so high-class. 5: Two-gallon electric toothpaste dispenser, solar-powered, plays The Blue Danube. 6: Magic blade-less fan, apparently conjuring up a stream of cooling air out of nowhere, much to the fascination of the easily impressed (as seen displayed prominently at last weekend’s Guangdong and Macau Branded Products Fair). 7: Superfluous footwear syndrome – we’re so rich we have enough space to keep a hundred pairs of shoes inside rather than in the neighbours’ way out in the corridor.

A nice uncluttered cell in Stanley Prison will be a relief.

In a similar vein: former goat-herding hub Saudi Arabia (34.7 people per square mile) is to build the world’s first and ultra-shiny kilometer-high skyscraper.

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13 Responses to Interior decor update

  1. pcrghlll says:

    So THAT’s what a flat with good feng shui looks like! Sort of the opposite of Zen minimalism – now I get it.

  2. Real Tax Payer says:

    I thought that one of the skills of Feng Shui masters was to be able to predict the future ( or at least place furniture and objects in a way that control the future *) …..

    So maybe Mr Tony “big smile” Chan knows something we don’t about the eventual outcome of his trial

    * is there a significance in the position of those shoe boxes: meaning ” I’m on way out ” ?

  3. Mike Hunt says:

    Give the guy some credit: not a single Korean chest or gilded Buddha statue in sight.

  4. Longtimenosee says:

    His son is named Wealthee.

    Twat.

  5. Bigot says:

    I suspect those shoe-boxes are portentous references to Tony’s future dwelling.

  6. Maugrim says:

    What is it with HK”ers (seemingly wealthy ones as well) and the preoccupation with stuffing their flats with as much tat as possible?

  7. Sir Crispin says:

    Just how big of a whore is Tony’s wife, who turned a blind eye while he shagged a pig-tailed old woman in return for cash?

  8. The Shahow HK says:

    His maid/s must have a hard time dusting all that crap!

  9. Vile says:

    Just to throw in a word of defence on the basis of the bladeless fan thing – a person can’t *entirely* be a waste of skin if he has an example of Mr. Dyson’s Marvellous Inventions in his possession.

  10. Tiu Fu Fong says:

    At least he doesn’t have the faux-gilt, Buckingham Palace garage sale furniture that some HK people think looks classy.

  11. Bigot says:

    Second look, #2 appears to be a Reuge music box.

  12. Maugrim says:

    Sir Crispin, lol so true. Though one suspects she was in on the whole thing from the start. The son”s name alone gives some insight into the deficit of moral values in that household.

  13. Impressed says:

    Reminds me of Brenda and Chau-Bong’s old shack!

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