Strange but true, believe it or not!

No fewer than five scarcely credible events leave the world stunned, not to stay shocked, maybe even traumatized, as some of our most deep-rooted assumptions and certainties are suddenly turned upside down and left in tatters.

1. We reel in horror at the suggestion that Macau casino mogul Dr Stanley Ho GBS OBE might be associated in some way with triads. This follows New Jersey’s decision to bar his daughter Pansy from running a gaming business in the state on account of the family connection. “You would have to be living under a rock not to know about Stanley Ho,” said former MGM Mirage chairman Terry Lanni, “and what the perception of Stanley Ho is.” What on earth can this disgraceful man be thinking?

Perhaps now the Hong Kong government will finally come to its senses and give the ailing Dr Ho the Grand Bauhinia Medal that every high net worth patriot in the Big Lychee receives as of right. The administration’s decision to leave him languishing with a mere Gold Bauhinia Star – which they give to anybody, along with all the riffraff Bronze and petit bourgeois arriviste Silver ones – has always struck me as a glaring insult, indeed a calculated humiliation, though fortunately not many people seem to have picked up on it.

2. We are appalled at the sight of Financial Secretary John Tsang wasting his time and our money in Kuala Lumpur uttering inane blather about how Hong Kong is to somehow guide its banks into making the city a major platform for Islamic finance – a cynical fad aimed at exploiting gullible religious believers, of which Malaysia has become the regional hub. Whatever next? Chief Secretary Henry Tang going to Shenzhen and signing vacuous agreements on partnership and cooperation with a bunch of corrupt thug-cadres who hate us?

3. We are struck dumb on hearing that Hong Kong officials have made a decision that will benefit the property tycoons at the expense of the rest of the population. The idea that they would even consider allowing the last few gaps in the hillside and on the roads of the Mid Levels to be filled in with monstrous high-rises and more traffic beggars belief.

4. We freak out at the news that among Hong Kong’s world-class, knowledge-economy, service-sector, high value-added exports is a movie called Womb Ghosts featuring the spirits of aborted fetuses and a scene – even in the trailer on YouTube – in which an egg cracked into a frying pan contains a small, bloody human embryo-baby of some sort. The idea that our local film industry would stoop to such depths of depravity, bad taste and crap scriptwriting to make a few bucks out of excitable and unsavoury American teenagers is little short of sickening. Have these production houses and cinematic arts professionals no shame?

5. We are struck dumb on hearing that Hong Kong officials have made a decision that will benefit the property tycoons at the expense of the rest of the population. Again. The idea that they would even consider tilting the playing field even more steeply in the developers’ favour by enabling compulsory sales of old buildings with 80% of owners’ approval leaves us flabbergasted. As for the sight of the corporate functional constituency representatives – and the Democratic Alliance for the Blah Blah of Hong Kong – combining to ram the measure through in the Legislative Council… What can I say? Who would have thought they would ever live to see the day when such a thing happened?

Such weirdness… I think I have to go and lie down. Thank God this lunatic string of aberrations is over and next week everything will be back to normal.

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6 Responses to Strange but true, believe it or not!

  1. Dr Crystal Slagg says:

    1. Better late than never, honey!!!!. What can you expect from a Kuok newspaper. Exposes????!!!! Investigation???? Get real, baby!!!????

    2. The reason you cannot handle Islamic finance is that the FCO and the FCC and probably everyone else you know living on shares and dividends (they have to after all – who would give ageing expats a decent salary nowadays???) cannot envisage a banking world with no interest, no usury and no exploitation. Geddit????!!!

    3. Mid Levels is already a concrete luxury slum so where are the grounds for objection? Cram more retarded expats and Overseas Chinese into the concrete ghetto, I say. Then seal it up!!!!!

    4. Why are you against originality and innovation? Or do you prefer the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Freddie movies because they are more artistic???? Come off it, buster!!!!

    5. How else do you get these greedy toerags out of their decrepit flea pits and build halfway affordable housing? Send the Mormons round for a popcorn evening????

    BTW, you can come over and lie down with Crystal any time, baby!!!! Geddit????!!!! I know I do!!!!!!

    Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. "doctor" says:

    You may have to close the comments down to stop that to**er Adams intruding where he is definitely not wanted.

  3. Doctor Dumb says:

    So, having already been struck dumb by scarcely credible event number 3, how can we then be struck dumb by scarcely credible event number 5?

    Or am I just being dumb?

    Or doubly dumb?

  4. Ferrari-owning-richboy says:

    Struck dumb by the government favoring property developers? That’s not exactly news to be put it kindly. This government has been tone-deaf to the public’s pleas. They know the real power are the properties people. I rub your back and your rub mine, that’s the cozy and unjust arrangement we have in Hong Kong. You are not so naive as to believe the government actually cares for what Hong Kong people think?

  5. Virgil Tibbs says:

    The funny thing is that the gov’t doesn’t care what people think, but when they bleat loudly enough, it wets itself.

    So they enjoy shitting on us, but when we complain they throw a tizzy.

    I don’t get it either. Callousness + inexperience = chaos?

    The main business of our government seems to be to exploit and fool the people it is purports to represent.

  6. notaeuropean says:

    well it is a good thing we have the democrats out there fighting for our human right to maybe someday elect an oligarch of our own. If we are going to be slammed up the bee-hind then by god let us elect the people to do it to us.

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