Fake breasts seized amid nightlife brainstorm

Hong Kong NatSec police won’t say if they have an arrest warrant out for a Danish sculptor, on the grounds that they wouldn’t tell a thief they planned to arrest them. (Surely thieves know the cops would like to get them. Danish sculptors don’t.) And they pressure a Cantonese-language group into closing for having a problematic short story on its website. Big Quartz report on the story – few would ever have heard of it, but now everyone’s reading it. More arrests of people connected with the 612 Humanitarian Relief Fund (though its high-profile trustees have still not been charged with ‘conspiring to collude with foreign forces’-type NatSec crimes). The Standard adds

Officers also raided the Aberdeen home of another person who is allegedly connected to the case.

They arrived at private housing estate Jadewater at around 1pm yesterday and, after a two-hour search, seized 47 boxes of exhibits, an iron cage, iron rods, bamboo sticks, wigs, fake breasts and chains from the flat.

Sources said the resident of the Aberdeen house is a consultant doctor at the anesthesia department of Queen Mary Hospital in Pok Fu Lam, but is currently abroad.

He is suspected to be connected to another volunteer group that provided medical support to protesters called “MO Oncall” and to have actively provided medical assistance to protesters at the scenes…

One side-effect of patriots-only District Councils is that civil servants occupying the venerable colonial post of District Officer now have a lot of influence in deciding who ends up on the boards. Hence the shoe-shining farewell banquet that has caused such a fuss. Sounds like the Mainland a few years ago.

Meanwhile, the non-NatSec part of the government is trying to rejuvenate the city’s nightlife – at least for visitors…

[Financial Secretary Paul Chan Mo-po] … said the government would work with various sectors to organise night bazaars to attract high-value tourists and spur spending.

…Chan said the authorities could add buzz and attract more people by having a dazzling light show by hundreds of synchronised drones.

I guess drones do buzz. What sort of night market (bazaar, emporium, boutique, whatever) will attract ‘high-value tourists’? One selling curry fishballs with beluga caviar and truffle sauce? Not a joke…

[Allan] Zeman … suggested drawing in Michelin-starred chefs to build its reputation and attract visitors.

A Liberal Party lawmaker proposes arts and crafts and pet shows, while the boss of a major restaurant chain fears competition from stalls paying low rents…

“The government can subsidise local arts groups to sing or dance at venues such as football fields or parks to attract people and spice up the city’s spending sentiment and economic activities,” he said.

An academic is skeptical…

“…Shenzhen is more attractive because prices are much cheaper with an array of quality food and products. Hong Kong can’t really compete with Shenzhen now for nightlife.”

What no-one seems to get is that the night markets and similar nocturnal attractions of Taipei, Shenzhen and pretty much everywhere have developed organically over the years to cater primarily for local residents. That was what made Temple Street, Poor Man’s Nightclub, dai pai dongs and 1990s Lan Kwai Fong successful. They weren’t for tourists – which is why tourists liked them. 

Looking ahead (like that short story) let’s imagine the Night Market-cum-Arts and Crafts Fun Themed Tourist Attraction Zone Pilot Scheme. Civil servants will draw up and enforce food stalls’ menus. Stalls’ decor must be regulation pink and sky blue. To ensure a wholesome atmosphere, there will be no alcohol, music, dancing, jugglers, fire-eaters, skateboards, lying on benches or ball games permitted. All vendors will be required to lodge a HK$500,000 deposit, and must pledge not to endanger national security. 

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14 Responses to Fake breasts seized amid nightlife brainstorm

  1. Nite Lyfe says:

    Night life is not communist. You can’t control it. So yes, it is amusing to watch them trying to organise it. Like asking an undertaker to organise an orgy. Or Nury Vittachi to write a novel. Doomed to failure.

  2. True Patriot says:

    Looks like it is the absolut duty of every patriot to come up with ideas how to drum up visitors.
    How about a relaunch of that really great and innovative idea of a „Suicide Museum“ in Cheung Chau?
    Fittingly renamed “Democracy Museum!”

  3. Natasha Fatale says:

    Dear Chan Mo-fo,

    Here’s an idea: allow owners of small boats to pick up and drop off passengers on either side of the harbour.

    Let the operators set their own hours and charge whatever they want.

    Priced right, HK residents will use the service and tourists will join in, too, because it’s authentic.

    You’re welcome.

  4. reductio says:

    I like Alan’s idea of the chefs. And Alan can pay for it. If enough other people like the idea then he makes money. If not, he doesn’t. It’s called being an entrepreneur. As for the government being involved in all this, I have two words: food trucks.

  5. Chinese Netizen says:

    Michelin chefs…arts and craps…DRONE light shows??

    The “ruling class”/”elites”/”heavyweights” really are THAT out of touch?? I mean, I’m being rhetorical but seriously…

    Whatever became of those food “trucks” that were fixed in place, thus defeating the very purpose of a food truck’s existence?

    BTW, one of my memorably worst dining experiences ever was at an over hyped, mainland Chinese tourist packed, Korean-American “Michelin chef” owned, pretending to be some kind of Asian “fusion” shit hole in NYC. Just glad I wasn’t paying as my friend who had booked months in advance insisted upon it. Had to go get a proper pizza afterwards just to get a decent bite to eat!

  6. Low Profile says:

    @True Patriot – a few years ago, I suggested that a Museum of Cantonese Culture would be a valuable addition to Hong Kong’s attractions. However, now may not be a good time to revive the idea.

    @Natasha – it will never happen – the government would probably impose unaffordable insurance requirements and limit the service to some out-of-the-way pier no one wants to visit.

  7. Wolflikeme says:

    @Chinese Netizen must have been a David Chang “joint”. He is now hawking freeze dried noodles on FB, Insta and of course Tik Tok!

    I’ve been back in the land of the free now for a year now. Interesting how Chinese/Korean/Japanese etc. has been usurped by “Asian”. Melting pot indeed (South Asians not included).

  8. Mary Melville says:

    Zeman was biting the hand that fed him for decades on a news clip last week, the comment was something on the lines of ‘gweilos only spend $100 on two beers, the mainlanders are the ones spending …………………’
    Am very surprised nobody appears to have captured the interview, his sneering expression was worth wide circulation.

  9. Fish says:

    @Mary – I call BS on that. Where can you get two beers for only $100 in LKF?

  10. Chinese Netizen says:

    @Wolflikeme: BINGO. He’s such a twat.

    As Chinese-American comedian Ali Wong would likely say: South Asians are “Jungle Asians”.

  11. Natasha Fatale says:

    @Low Profile

    Er, yes, indeed.

  12. Mark Bradley says:

    “@Mary – I call BS on that. Where can you get two beers for only $100 in LKF?”


  13. Mary Melville says:

    Re Mark – and can somebody introduce me to the gweilo (yes he used the G word) who imbibes only TWO beers.

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