The bold and noble counter-tourism attack that never was

Disappointment casts a dark shadow over Hong Kong today.

News reports had suggested that brave and ingenious defenders of the people’s rights and freedoms had employed space-age technology to disrupt a harbour-front drone display at the Wine and Dine Hype Tedium Tourist-Infestation Festival. The sight of a hundred midget flying machines suddenly exploding and plunging in little pieces into the waters had, we were told, distressed visitors and – even better – damaged Hong Kong’s reputation as a vacation wonderland. We were filled with joy and hope that the spectacular guerilla jamming action would thwart the Tourism Board Event and Product Development Department’s cruel plot to entice 140,000 pests via the new high-speed rail and Zhuhai Bridge to attend the tawdry booze promotion.

Tragically, it was not to be. We are now told that the drones’ miniaturized choreographed kamikaze act was not sabotage, but simply the result of incompetent organizers neglecting to factor in the effect of Central’s one million 4G mobile phone signals on the GPS system. A great pity. But if it’s any consolation, the parasitical tourist industry is nonetheless beside itself in grief at the harm supposedly done to Hong Kong’s image among the moronic hordes of inbound selfie-takers. And maybe this accidental accident will inspire right-thinking tech-geeks to do something similar on purpose next time.

A tantalizing possibility: could it be that the drones, with their high degree of artificial intelligence, share residents’ dislike of the never-ending tourist inundation, and decided themselves to wreck the tacky aerial display?