Carrie Lam helps out forgotten elderly

Hong Kong Chief Secretary Carrie Lam will ‘announce’ her ‘candidacy’ for Chief Executive ‘election’ next week. Thursday, it seems. But wait! The mind-numbing hyper-predictability takes on unprecedentedly freakish dimensions – which is to say, the script-writers developing the story are introducing desperate plot elements that verge on parody of self-parody. Ronald Arculli is to be her ‘campaign office director’…

The Hon Ronald Arculli GBM, GBS, Diamond Award for Immeasurable Influence, CVO, OBE, JP: lawyer; elder and all-purpose front-man for the Hong Kong bureaucrat-tycoon establishment; obedient sitter on numerous toothless consultation committees and public-body boards; docile promoter of countless doomed government policy proposals; and occasional eater of bananas in Pacific Coffee. Apparently, ‘…he and his wife have been guests at Royal Ascot [citation needed]’.

The position of ‘campaign office director’ is obviously a ridiculous pretense in a rigged quasi-election. Even so, you would have thought someone would have the wit or flair to find a slightly fresher, less hackneyed choice as gimmicky mascot for our presumed next Chief Executive. But no – they called on poor dependable old Ron, knowing he will stand and grin, while clutching Carrie’s Manifesto, to order.

It looks like a hastily cobbled-together, cynical and bored gesture contemptuous of public opinion. But it also shows that a good poodle-cheerleader is hard to find these days. The traditional tycoons and pompous bureaucrats had a nasty experience in 2011-12, rushing to openly back Henry Tang only to be betrayed when Beijing went for CY Leung. And the bold types who sided with CY at that time – like former civil servants Sir David Akers-Jones and Fanny Law – end up having to tip-toe away from a disaster.

This is a culture where the urge to shoe-shine is intense, but shoe-shining has become risky and dangerous, best left until things are absolutely certain, if ever. Ron is welcome to it. With Beijing these days apparently so unsure what it’s doing, this charade is no longer even remotely funny.

I declare the weekend open with evidence that we have surely hit Peak Self-absorbed Narcissistic Entitled Millennial…

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12 Responses to Carrie Lam helps out forgotten elderly

  1. reductio says:

    “Diamond Award: Ronald Arculli

    “Hong Kong is facing perhaps a bit of a challenge right now, nearly 20 years since the reunification with China,” the visionary remarks thoughtfully. ”

    Previous winners include: Pansy Ho, Lee Shau-kee, Cheng Yu-tung, Marjorie Yang, Jim Thompson, and Timothy Fok”

    We’ve reached the nadir of craptitudiness bullshittery and its the 6th January.

  2. Joe Blow says:

    Dickson Poon is a knight ? How much did he pay for it and what is the title ? Commander of the Brown Star ?

  3. Stephen says:

    So let’s look ahead … John’s not allowed to run hence, it’s a three donkey race between The Judge, Vagina and the Head Prefect. Beijing steers a handshake in the direction of the Head Prefect and she wins around 850 votes. The Pan Dems, thwarted attempt to play king maker by all 3 candidates being utterly unrepresentative, spoil their ballots whilst the Heung Yee Krooks go for the Judge and one or two loons go for Vagina. All is well and Ronnie Arculli slips back into the crypt. Except all is not well.

  4. Red Dragon says:

    Yes, Hemmers, it’s all true.

    Ronnie and his missus rode in the carriage parade at Ascot in 2012. What’s more, they shared a landau (or was it a phaeton?) with none other than, yes you’ve got it, the Middletons! Evidence, if any were needed, of the bourgeoisie triumphant.

    I have no idea whether the latter had ever heard of the former before they were shoehorned together for their jolly jaunt down the course, but Ronnie, grinning like a monkey as usual, certainly looked chuffed to be in such exalted company.

    A series of photos of the gruesome event can be seen at:

    Prizes given for the best caption/speech bubbles for the pic of Ronnie, Carole and Phil the Greek.

  5. @Joe Blow – look under “Academic gifts” in Poon’s Wikipedia entry for some of your answers.

  6. LRE says:

    @Joe Blow — he got a Cleaner of the Brown Eye, a snip at only a cheeky £30 million.

  7. Hermes says:

    The main news going round today is the Palace Museum project foisted on us by Carrie and Beijing and intended as a ‘nice new year’s surprise’. Eddie Chu questioned HKJC’s involvement, citing Wilfried’s Bauhinia Star and other ‘favours’, at which Carrie accused him of smearing her. Interesting, then, that Ronnie should pop up.

  8. Knownot says:

    For the weekend

    China’s Aura : The Chinasaura

    The Chinasaura is a mythic beast,
    A phantom of the subtle, devious East;
    Seek it where you will, you cannot find,
    Only in the credulous human mind.
    It menaces, it flatters, it roars and charms;
    It bribes with presents and it rattles arms.

    – – – – – –

    An English group, touring China, was guided
    To a medical institute, which provided
    Access to the venerable ways,
    The knowledge passed down from dynastic days.
    Illness, stress and pain – they could ease
    With wisdom of the old Chinese.

    A friend of mine was in that tour. A cynic,
    What was he doing in a herbal clinic?
    And yet this modern man, ironic, quizzical,
    Submitted to a diagnosis physical.
    “Do you sometimes lack energy?” the doctor enquired.
    “Perhaps you feel lethargic, or weak, or tired?”
    “Well, yes.” And his wife, concerned, said, “I agree.
    He’s not as active as he used to be.”
    And so, to build up strength and cure his ills,
    My friend bought some expensive herbal pills.

    Later, a tactful Chinese reader told him
    The purpose of the pills the doctor sold him.
    Speaking of tiredness, the doctor meant, in fact,
    “Can you still perform the sexual act?”
    Confirming he was tired, his wife had said,
    “My husband is no use to me in bed.”

    In England, feeling he’d been taken in,
    He simply chucked the whole lot in the bin.
    He didn’t tell me what the pills had cost;
    Nearly £100, I think. Lost.

    He’d disdain a shaman from the Andes,
    Or an Ayurvedic doctor from Benares.
    No other place on earth has such an aura;
    He was a victim of the Chinasaura.

    – – – – – –

    The Chinasaura also plays its tricks
    In the greater world of politics.
    For seventy years, China has been split;
    But that is something that they won’t admit.
    Everyone with any common sense
    Knows it’s a ridiculous pretence;
    But nearly every nation has colluded
    And agrees to act as if deluded.
    Nowhere else on earth has such an aura;
    They are the victims of the Chinasaura.

    But listen! Sound the Trumpets, bang the drums!
    Spouting, frothing, tweeting, here he comes:
    Another kind of President-elect
    Who says that he is going to reject
    The delusion – and the business – and the trade,
    And all the feeble compromises made.
    “We are leaders. We will always lead them.
    They need us more than we need them.”

    Well. Perhaps he hasn’t comprehended
    America’s age of industry has ended;
    And he cannot see America’s decline,
    Of which his own election is a sign.

    However, looking on the other side:
    Although we see the new-made wealth and pride,
    Can we really be completely sure
    That China as it is now will endure?
    Will the Chinasaura fulminate
    And angrily retaliate –
    Or just evaporate?

  9. WTF says:

    Hehe, as predicted earlier, John was maneuvered out of his job for backstabbing without merit, with very little chance they will need him as a back-up to Hari-Carrie. Beijing and CY played him like a piano.

    As to me, I’d prefer the noodles to a slice of Carrie any day.

  10. Red Dragon says:

    Bravo, Laguna!

    Would you accept a postal order?

  11. WTF says:



    Should it be sung/recited to the tune of: The East is Red” or “Der Fuehrer’s Chairman’s Face”?

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