Semi-obscure legal figures offer light relief

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Sensing that Hong Kong could badly use a laugh, not-very-well-known former judge Woo Kwok-hing announces his candidacy for Chief Executive. Great thinkers are struggling to work out what it means. (The Standard looks forward to hearing the poor man doom himself by taking a position one way or the other on the Crushing of Oath-Mutilating Splittists issue.)

China’s Communist leaders will pre-determine the winner of next year’s CE ‘election’. Some, like Financial Secretary John Tsang, perhaps imagine they will agonize over Hong Kong people’s preferences. Others suspect the dictatorship in Beijing will instinctively lean more towards a ruthless-authoritarian-psycho than a warm-and-cuddly type. The best we can say for now is that Woo is retired and needs something to do.

Over in Conference Land (via my email in-box), we find an eerie, cosmic parallel – a semi-obscure member of the legal profession has cropped up in a place he doesn’t seem to belong, conflicting with the natural order by (possibly and relatively) having a grip on reality and even perhaps, to some degree, speaking sense in a place where none should be.

It is the South China Morning Post’s forthcoming gathering on One Belt One Road. (You thought ‘Belt and Road’ had gone away? You were wrong.) The legal personage concerned is Anthony Neoh. It doesn’t matter who he is – just look at the rest of the line-up…

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He is, of course, the one who isn’t Tung Chee-hwa, Jack Ma, Regina Ip or Antony Leung.

Leaving aside the odd man out, take a good look at that composition. First and foremost in the centre is Jack Ma, owner of the SCMP, in a grimy black T-shirt and presented as physically bigger than the others, who are placed behind him, looking over his shstan-archrivalsoulders. The designers have given Tung’s stock photo the soft-focus treatment to bring out the old guy’s much-loved fuzziness of word and deed. Regina is looking to the ground and sneering, as if at the crumpled and bloodied body of a freshly dispatched non-sympathizer. Antony Leung stars as Mr Bean.

(By the way, obsessive CE-hopeful Regina greets Woo Kwok-hing’s candidacy with a delightfully sour ‘good to see him participating’ through clenched teeth.)

Attendees at the day-long session will be brutalized and tormented with the usual blather about a gateway crystalizing the Challenges! and! Opportunities! of middle-class-driven innovation and partnerships, with some agenda-changing shifting sands thrown in…

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Then again, maybe the conference will be an unmissable bargain…

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What jumps out here is the word ‘unlocked’. It implies – or admits – that the One Belt One Road Zone Hub Scheme Vision Project is an incomprehensible pile of megalomaniac mysticism and gibberish. The auspicious sum of HK$3,880 is a pittance to pay to have the rip-off scam buried deep within this enigma made clear and accessible. Plus you get 300 influencers.

Now what…

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14 Responses to Semi-obscure legal figures offer light relief

  1. Walter De Havilland says:

    Vagina has fired an open salvo at D’Artagnan, claiming ‘he’s done nothing for 10 years’. The race has started, although all the horses have yet to reach the start line.

  2. reductio says:

    “But wait…there’s more. Apply before the end of October and you will receive a free pair of Miss Regina’s panties as a gift (or Uncle Tung’s if female). Breath in the aroma of power! Enjoy this one time offer, but act fast!”

  3. Joe Blow says:

    $ 3,880- for a panel that does not include Ronald Arculli, Al Semen (freshly ousted from the West Kowloon Cultural Thing Extravaganza committee), Bunny Chan or Kimmy Robinson ? Yeah, right !

  4. Big Al says:

    Two thoughts today. First, wasn’t “One Belt, One Road” an old Queen song? … ah no, that was “One Vision” and therefore nothing to do with OBOR. Second, the insert shows the OBORing Conference will discuss “agenda-changing topics”. Like what? Flower arranging? If they know this now then surely the organisers have time to update the agenda of the Conference to include said topics. Otherwise it will just get confusing for everyone. Oh, wait …

  5. LRE says:

    The alleged “race” for the Communist Exonerative begins!
    1.Woo who?
    2.Hoo-hoo!
    3.Lu-lu!

    @reductio
    One Belt [of] One Gusset, shurely?

  6. Why are Hong Kong conferences like being with Rurik Jutting?

    You don’t know whether to piss or to vomit.

  7. Stephen says:

    Everybody knows that Mr. Justice Woo will not be the next Chief Executive – FFS Mr. Justice Woo knows he will not be the next Chief Executive. So why oh why does this ‘Pillar of the Establishment’ decide to engage in this charade? Ambition ? – He’s 70 Stalking Horse ? – It’s not a real election or bored ? – that there is no more Chairmanships of task forces for him to split with that other pillar, Arculli.
    Perhaps it could be that he is so woefully out of touch with what is really going on out there and feels that he can make a judgment and all will be well. Pop along to the Liaison Office Judge so they can inform you how it now works.

  8. HKcynical says:

    @Walter De Havilland I thought Vagina was endorsing John Tsang : doing nothing for 10 years is the highest achievement for a HK politician, contrasting sharply with Vagina’s track record of making everything worse for the last 50 years

  9. Des Espoir says:

    My entry in the “spot the odd one out” competition:
    Anthony Neoh and Jack Ma are the only 2 who have not left office in disgrace…

  10. dimuendo says:

    Has Mr Zeman actually formally retired? If not, why was he reportedly in the crowd of “protestors” outside Legco last night.

    As to Woo ex J, if it is a choice between him, Regina and CY then he would get my vote (if I had one).

  11. LRE says:

    @Des Espoir

    In Anthony Neoh’s case, as Chief Adviser to the China Securities Regulatory Commission, I’m not really sure you need to have left office to be in disgrace.

  12. Joe Blow says:

    BOYCOTT LAN KWAI FONG

  13. Orange Clock says:

    Actually Reg is in front of Jacky, so what does that say?

  14. mjrelje says:

    Orange Clock says:
    October 27, 2016 at 10:58 pm
    Actually Reg is in front of Jacky, so what does that say?

    It says: Viz, up the arse corner!

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