Election Day

“This is the last time anyone will try to do this…” If Mitt Romney wins the election today, he will be the last US president imposed on the rest of the population by white males. From this point onwards, a candidate who fails to get the support of at least a reasonable segment or two of the country’s women/non-white/non-Anglo voters loses, assuming a two-way race.

Mitt’s Mormonism didn’t become an issue. All fair-minded people will of course welcome this, but as a lover of entertainment I have to say: disappointed! Spoilsport evangelical preacher Billy Graham recently removed the Latter Day Saints from his list of cults and said all that matters is a candidate’s position on “the sanctity of marriage as between one man and one woman; the sanctity of life; and yes, the protection of God’s beloved nation Israel.”

All religions must be started by charlatans or lunatics, but the relative newness of Mormonism accentuates its ‘fakeness’ and apparent strangeness. It would have been relatively easy for fundamentalist detractors (secretly funded in my fantasy by Obama sympathizers) to skewer Romney theologically as non-Christian. However, the theoretical ‘weirdness’ of Mormonism is counterbalanced by what it produces in practice: almost absurdly clean, hard-working, law-abiding, educated people who are more American than most other Americans. Only the radical atheists are creeped out by the sub-Mohammedan back story and the special relationship between Jesus and Missouri, and for all we know, under a Romney administration the famous LDS underwear will catch on among Baptists and Presbyterians.

Not much else would hugely change, despite all the clash of values and visions in the debates and ads. Mitt has been a bit of closet liberal at times, and it’s not like circumstances leave the nation’s leader with a lot of choices. That probably goes for the China/Asian security front as well.

My hunch is that we will not find out. A 10.00am glance at Google News suggests that Obama sympathizers are tentatively forecasting victory, while Romney-ites are saying it’s too close to call. With a lot of early voting over the weeks, and a last-minute play of the Bruce Springsteen card, it suggests a clear win for Obama in the Electoral College. If so, the Tea Party types, hyper-conservatives and crypto-racists will be even angrier than four years ago. The Kenyan socialist got back in, and the demographics will never be the same again.

 Good news…

…for students of the curious quasi-legalized illegal parking phenomenon in Central and other crowded spots: I spied a traffic cop giving a ticket to one of those big lumpy black vans, and then walk a few yards off to do a same to another one. This is a rare sight.

I have been told that the cops and traffic wardens largely tolerate illegal parking by private cars because, if not stationary, the drivers will simply go round and round in circuits waiting for their ultra-important bosses to emerge from whatever buildings they are in – and the traffic jams would be even worse. In a lot of cities, the trend is towards actively managing traffic by charging a hefty toll to enter urban areas or simply blocking streets off so vehicles just can’t go there. In Hong Kong, the traffic manages the city; whatever it wants to do, we all have to go along with.

In the next photo I hope to take from the walkway over Connaught Road, the cop drags the driver out of the car and pistol-whips the guy into the path of an oncoming 20-ton truck.

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16 Responses to Election Day

  1. Lois Beluga says:

    Dear Mr Hemlock,

    We have spoken to the traffic warden you highlight in your online publication and hereby inform you that he has been suspended.

    The staff in question has been suffering from personal problems and his behaviour is not typical of our Department.

    Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention.

    Lois Beluga (Ms)
    For Commissioner of Transport

  2. Real Fine Payer says:

    Re the parking phenomenon, that’s a pleasant sight to see.


    But notice one thing : this cop is one of the BMW bike-mounted, “terror cops ” (also spelled terracops) complete with white helmet and jack boots. These kind of cops are trained by the Mujaheddin in Afghanistan and they eat traffic offenders alive for breakfast . Parking violators are for them just tit bits.

    The average walk-the-beat cop, not to mention timid parking wardens are scared stiff to book any car in which there is a driver (especially a tycoon- driver ) , whether the car is just waiting, idling illegally or even stopped on double yellow lines . The reason is that if the driver knows his stuff ( and these tycoon drivers do know their stuff) they file a complaint to CAPO for “abusive behavior on the part of the law enforcement officer”, which results in the hapless policeman or parking warden having to spend hours filling out CAPO complaint reply forms, and even then still to be hauled up before his boss.

    Ergo, the average policeman or traffic warden just tell drivers of cars parked illegally with the driver inside ( or nearby) to move on.

    We need a few more terracops.

  3. arm bears says:

    “…it suggests a clear win for Obama in the Electoral College. If so, the Tea Party types, hyper-conservatives and crypto-racists will be even angrier than four years ago.”

    Well, the Teabaggers should relax and count their blessings: they’ll still be able to masturbate to their Sarah Palin porn http://hustler.com/Hustler_Warning_Parody/parody.php while fondling their guns and dreaming of a James Galtian paradise. Just because the Kenyan Muslim darkie got re-elected, it’ll still be a free country. Sort-of.

  4. Tiu Fu Fong says:

    Re: actions to defeat police officers doing their job

    A common tactic I’ve seen is pretending to talk to someone on your mobile and refusing to be interrupted. That sort of behaviour hits the trigger region in my brain that makes me want to slap the wrongdoer.

  5. Stephen says:

    Meanwhile in Beijing the (non) excitement and (no) suspense mounts as one appalling old waxwork president is replaced by a slightly more tubby waxwork.

    I trust the Pro-China Morning Post will treat us to a full colour pull out so we can re-live the magic and join the other 1.3B in suffering the consequences.

  6. PropertyDeveloper says:

    This is all a foreign plot, instigated by Howard Winn, who must surely be due to be moved sideways soon. But the NT are still standing firm in defence of our native-born rights, as the wardens are only authorised to talk to the public when there are at least 2 BMWs around each corner.

  7. dopey says:

    I assume the double parkers are left alone because the higher-ups in the Police Department have an eye out for their post “serving the community” careers.

  8. Vile says:

    On a cautionary note for those allowed to exercise their voting rights (courtesy of “V” – not the film version, obviously):

    “And it’s no good blaming the drop in work standards upon bad management, either …

    Though, to be sure, the management is very bad. In fact, let us not mince words … the management is terrible! We’ve had a string of embezzlers, frauds, liars and lunatics making a string of catastrophic decisions. This is plain fact.

    But who elected them? It was you! You who appointed these people! You who gave them the power to make your decisions for you! While I’ll admit that anyone can make a mistake once, to go on making the same lethal errors century after century seems to me nothing short of deliberate …”

  9. Big Al says:

    Mormons. Certainly more American than American. There’s a nest of them near to where I live and they all have those little black name badges identifying them as “Elder Buckwheat” or something equally wholesome. And they’re all “Elders” even though they look like they’re barely out of their teens. All the ones I’ve seen in Hong Kong are clean shaven (even the girls, although it’s hard to tell), upright, honest, respectful and well meaning. All the things I’ve grown to detest. Bah Humbug!

  10. Maugrim says:

    I can’t wait till demographics evolve in the US as they likely will to the point where a future Presidential candidate’s slogan will be something like ‘we all have a friend in Jesus’. The music for the slogan having allready written itself.

  11. Tom says:

    How Mitt Romney Raised Millions in HK & Macau: http://hongwrong.com/us-election-hong-kong/

  12. Chris Maden says:

    Wouldn’t it be nice – really, really nice – if belief in some god or other was not a pre-requisite for getting elected in the U.S.

    On the other hand, it would be just as nice if that bastion of religious freedom to the north had the occassional Politburo member who wasn’t an aetheist.

    Oh well. I hope Obama wins, but my money’s on Mitt the Twit.

  13. Vile says:

    Maugrim, demographics in the US do not “evolve”, they are created.

  14. PCC says:

    Hurrah for all the anti-American, anti-religious bigots who visit this site. The envy and jealousy are coming out of your eyes.

  15. Joe Blow says:

    doesn’t ‘Ryan Romney’ sound like the name of a B-list porn actor ?

    But serious: did you know that the Book of Mormon (and I have read it back-to-back) was inspired by an angel called Moroni ?
    I shit you not.

    Did you know that when a legit Protestant (e.g. Anglican, Lutheran, Baptist etc.) wants to convert to the Church of Rome, they don’t have to undergo additional religious instruction ? However, Mormons are excluded from this arrangement because they are not proper Christians, according to the Pope.

  16. Vile says:

    Bigotry implies being obstinately or intolerantly devoted to one’s own opinions and prejudices. Being anti-religious doesn’t require prejudice, merely elementary powers of observation.

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