A week of wonder and weirdness awaits

“A jobless scrounger is set to have a TENTH child by a TENTH different girl – after making two new partners pregnant,” it says here.

A voice of reason responds: “Worthless specimens like [aforementioned jobless scrounger/feckless love rat] Macdonald should be given a stark choice: earn a living to support your children or we’ll sterilise you so you can’t have any more. Of course, that would be a breach of his ‘human rights’ – but does anybody care? It’s time society fought back.”

What a fascinatingly exotic part of the world it must be where such things happen! A 25-year-old man gets his living costs paid by the taxpayer on account of his bad back (not to mention uncanny resemblance to the Missing Link) and sets out on a mission to impregnate every available woman within a 100-mile radius, all or most of whom subsequently also become wards of the state, along with their mini-Link prodigy.

How can anyone not want to visit such an intriguing, surreal and otherwordly place, where it is not unknown that a jobless scrounger “wakes up with a can of lager every morning.” I might even have the good fortune to spend some money on items subject to this wondrous country’s 20% sales tax, thus contributing in my own small way towards the anticipated 45.9 billion Pounds the unrestrained scattering of Missing Link sperm will end up costing the astoundingly good-natured public of this outlandish and bizarre nation.  It will be a pleasure and a privilege to be present in such an unforgettably and thrillingly eccentric milieu.

That, at any rate, is what I tell myself through gritted teeth, as I pack my bags before boarding my flight for the United Kingdom. The next few days’ output on this site will be dedicated to the email correspondent who writes “I like the posts in black ink but not the ones in green ink.” Unless I have the opportunity to write an eyewitness account of the lynching of the Sunderland Shagger.*

*Which would have to take place well south of the Severn-Wash Line.

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9 Responses to A week of wonder and weirdness awaits

  1. Del Boy says:

    This misfit bears a remarkable resemblance to my brother Rodney from “Only Fools And Horses”. Are we related by any chance?

  2. Rodders says:

    What a bunch of slappers !!

    What do you call a good looking woman in England ?
    A Tourist

  3. Maugrim says:

    The Daily Mail is an absorbing read as to how a once proud nation is slowly killing itself through producing a population of welfare-fed chavs along with those who seek to pacify people who wish to turn the UK into sharia by the north sea.

  4. River House says:

    Hong Kong needs people like him.

    People in this territory now keep dogs instead of children.

    They are impotent, childless, fearful and selfish, preferring to shop and buy hideous real estate rather than toys for their children.

    Long live the fornicators.

  5. Ban balding people from wearing bandanas says:

    It’s a shame that the BBC TV kids programme “Record Breakers” doesn’t show anymore. The Sunderland Shagger is a fantastic role model and would have made a great guest.

  6. Jack Russell says:

    Ten kids with ten women? Who does he think he is? Stanley Ho?

  7. Blue Skies says:

    I really want to ask “Paulie Clarke” what [inbred hairy knuckled] hippocrocopigs are.

  8. Dirty Gertie from Number 30 says:

    Mr Macdonald’s male offspring will come in very useful for one of the pointlesss wars I predict the UK will be fighting 15-20 years hence. If its one thing the North of England is good a generating, it is cannon fodder.

  9. The Shahow HK says:

    Maybe he needs to see the Pope and get some guidance on how not to have relations with woman. But then after looking at the photos of the “dogs” he has shagged, perhaps he should be reported to the RSPCA for beastiality.

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