Big Lychee, Various Sectors

It’s one of those times all-patriots folk find themselves opposing the government: legislators derail a plan for ‘smart ballot boxes’…

But within just two days, the bureau decided to withdraw the initiative after the backlash.

“The original intention of the proposal is to help voters confirm their ballots were marked correctly to further protect their voting rights,” a bureau spokesman said. “After listening to opinions from lawmakers and the public, the government is willing to reconsider.”

The containers would be fitted with scanners that would somehow detect invalid ballots and ask voters if they wished to amend them. No opposition candidates are allowed to run these days, so it seems the ‘marked correctly’ rationale is an attempt to reduce the number of blank or spoiled ballots. It’s hard to take pride in being a legislator when everyone knows many voters stayed at home and you got a fraction of the votes won in the old days by pro-democracy politicians who are now in prison. Chances are that lawmakers – who are now pre-screened and essentially nominated by the authorities – fear that turnout will shrink even further if voters think some fancy tech is examining their supposedly secret ballots.

HKFP adds… 

Chief Executive John Lee on Tuesday did not directly answer a reporter’s question as to whether the ballot scanners would infringe on the right to cast a blank or spoiled vote, saying only that electoral procedures would be conducted smoothly and satisfactorily.

HKFP report on the latest from Jimmy Lai’s trial, in which judges ask if Lai was ‘inciting hatred’ when he talked about the police twisting facts after the Yuen Long attack and China’s assimilation into the global system. Is that what used to be called criticizing?

Tina Brown, former editor of Vanity Fair, New Yorker, etc, names Jimmy Lai as her Man of the Year…

I love this guy, Jimmy Lai. His heroic stand against Chinese authoritarianism may result in his never leaving his cockroach-infested prison cell again. But my profound hope is that he is not only freed but comes to live in the U.S. and buys the Washington Post. I’d be a cub reporter for him in a heartbeat.

AFP story on Macau’s vanishing civil society…

Today, public protests in Macau are just a memory after Beijing launched sweeping measures in the past five years that ousted opposition lawmakers and chilled free speech.

Ahead of the anniversary, multiple Macau democrats told AFP they were warned not to make critical remarks in public.

Apparently, ferry services between Hong Kong and Macau were suspended yesterday as Xi Jinping arrived to mark the 25th anniversary of the city’s handover in 1999.

The Lowy Interpreter looks at China’s ‘panda diplomacy’ (article especially recommended for those who like using the word ‘gifted’ instead of ‘given’ or ‘donated’)…

The sudden influx of pandas to California reflects the pro-China stance of Californian officials, which contrasts with nationwide efforts to bolster defences against perceived threats from China.

…Beijing also leverages pandas to enhance its image in territories it controls or seeks to control. Hong Kong has just received its third pair of giant pandas. In Taiwan’s case, Beijing sent two pandas (aptly named Tuan-Tuan and Yuan-Yuan or Unification) to Taipei in 2008 following the inauguration of the China-friendly Ma Ying-jeou administration. This transfer bypassed the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species, thereby underscoring Beijing’s assertion regarding Taiwan’s provincial status.

…Zoos hosting pandas must pay up to US$1 million annually to support panda conservation efforts in Sichuan Province. However, The New York Times suggests that the money does not necessarily go towards conserving pandas in their natural habitat. Additional expenses involve building special facilities, providing veterinary care and sourcing tonnes of bamboo.

…Cuddly pandas symbolise a generous, friendly and peaceful China. Panda loan announcements, often made during state visits by Chinese leaders, receive extensive local and international media coverage. 

…However, there is little evidence to support the claim that panda diplomacy “benefits China as a tool of public diplomacy”. 

I hate to encourage those less-talented pub quiz question-setters who rely on ‘a murder of crows’ and similar idiocies, but did you know the collective noun for pandas is an ‘embarrassment’? Rather apt, you might think. We should really spell out the truth about these animals: they are not ‘friendly’, just immensely stupid. And there’s this…

Pandas have been ridiculed for their decidedly non-bearlike vegetarian diets, their apparent lack of interest in—and aptitude for—sex, their tendency to spend the majority of their time sitting, eating, scratching … and defecating (about 40 times per day)—even for being, shall we say, plump. These rather “unfit” characteristics have made the giant panda a favorite animal of creationists, who argue that the panda’s survival proves the existence of God. How is it, they ask, that such a species could have “evolved” to be so poorly suited for survival and could have lasted these “alleged” tens of thousands of years without a little help from a higher power? 

They also smell utterly repulsive if you get up close to them.*

On the subject of warm and cuddly, a Global Times Twitter post says…

In response to an inquiry regarding claim by the Taiwan island’s “defense ministry” that it had received 38 advanced Abrams battle tanks from the US, Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesperson Lin Jian said on Monday that there is no such a thing as the so-called “defense ministry” in Taiwan. 

Well someone took delivery of the things.

_{*Maybe – I have no idea.}

Long Hair and 12 others found guilty in the primary elections/‘conspiracy to commit subversion’ trial plan to appeal…

Of the 47 charged in the subversion case, 16 pleaded not guilty and sat through a 118-day trial, with 14 found guilty – Leung among them.

Leung is among 13 activists, ex-legislators, and a journalist who have thus far lodged appeal bids. The Department of Justice said last week it did not intend to seek longer jail terms for those sentenced last month.

…Last week, ex-lawmaker Raymond Chan and ex-district councillors Tat Cheng and Kalvin Ho lodged appeals against their sentences and convictions, while radio host Tam Tak-chi, who pleaded guilty to the charge, sought an appeal against his sentence.

Activists Owen Chow, Gordon Ng and Michael Pang; former lawmakers Helena Wong and Lam Cheuk-ting; former union leader Winnie Yu; journalist-turned-activist Gwyneth Ho; and ex-district councillor Clarisse Yeung have filed appeals. They all pleaded not guilty.

There was no law against holding primary elections; the ‘reject the budget’ idea drew on the Basic Law itself. Optimists might see an opportunity for Hong Kong’s judiciary to show how independent it is. So might pessimists.

An interesting not-too-long but thorough report by Samuel Bickett – Asia’s Walled City: The Erosion of Transparency in Hong Kong. It covers a wide range of subjects, including: weakening freedom of information; removal of material from government websites and reports; removal of China risk disclosure requirements by the stock exchange; removal of info on private company directors; official orders to block websites; and paid spectators limiting access to trials.

Among possible future threats, the report mentions legislation on ‘fake news’, closed trials, registration of journalists, and broader Internet censorship. The picture is mixed…

As of now, fake news legislation seems to be on the backburner, particularly as the Article 23 NSL authorizes the government to significantly curtail media it disagrees with through sedition charges and other means.

…while the worst fears about secret trials have thus far not come to pass, it is certainly possible, if not likely, that the trial access currently enjoyed by the press and public will be curtailed in the future.

Interestingly, he does not foresee Mainland-style restrictions on Internet access…

…It is unlikely that the government will extend the Mainland’s Great Firewall to Hong Kong … there are technical limitations that make this very difficult to do. Unlike the Mainland, where the Internet has been physically structured around a small number of input and output points, countless such points lead in and out of Hong Kong. Many of these points are controlled by foreign companies, and it would be challenging to extend government control over them. Additionally, the government is unlikely in the near-term to even want to excessively control the Internet … the government has made clear its intention to continue to attract business and investment to the city. Transforming the nature of the city’s Internet would put those efforts at greater risk, with minimal gain since the government can continue to target individual offending sites via blocking orders to ISPs.

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Not a great day for Hong Kong justice

Seven people, including former legislator Lam Cheuk-ting, are convicted of rioting after going to Yuen Long MTR station (unlike the police, who mysteriously failed to show up) when a violent mob ambushed passengers on the night of July 21, 2019.

AP reports…

Prosecutors accused former legislator Lam Cheuk-ting and the six other defendants of provoking members of a group of about 100 men armed with wooden poles and metal rods who attacked protesters and bystanders at a train station. The men, all clad in white shirts, in contrast with the black worn by protesters, claimed to be protecting their homeland in Yuen Long, a residential district in Hong Kong’s New Territories.

Dozens of people, including Lam, were injured in the violence, a key chapter that escalated the protest movement as the public criticized police for their delayed response. The landmark ruling could shape the city’s historical narrative of the incident.

At the time, the attack (accompanied by suspicions of collusion between pro-Beijing forces and the police) prompted shock even among top government officials. The official version now has it that it was some sort of conflict between two groups.

Reuters story…

On the night of July 21, 2019, more than 100 white-shirted men stormed the Yuen Long MTR station in the territory’s northwest, attacking passers-by and journalists with clubs and sticks. Ten of the assailants ended up being convicted for rioting and conspiring to wound with intent.

Lam, 47, a long-standing member of the Democratic Party, was arrested 13 months after the incident and charged with rioting and helping instigate the violence.

He told the court he had rushed to the scene to help, but ended up being taken to hospital with head, mouth, arm and wrist injuries that required 16-18 stitches, after being attacked.

District court judge Stanley Chan said he did not believe Lam went to mediate, but instead wanted to extract some political advantage while his Facebook posts had drawn more people like a “magnet”.

“His purpose was to provoke emotional confrontation with the white shirted people and fan the flames,” Chan said.

…He rejected arguments that some had acted with reasonable self defence or to protect others, but had displayed “riotous behaviour” that led the white-clad gang to be further provoked.

The judge seems to be good at reading people’s minds. From HKFP…

Judge Stanley Chan on Thursday said he did not believe that Lam had been exercising his role as a lawmaker to mediate the conflict or monitor police enforcement at Yuen Long station. Chan said Lam was trying to take advantage of the situation for his political benefit.

Chart of the day: monthly remuneration of ‘politically appointed officials’ in the Hong Kong government…

Rank and file civil servants’ pay – look at the ads in the SCMP on Saturdays – is similarly generous. People who work in the public sector like to claim that their jobs are so different in nature from private-sector ones that accurate comparisons are not possible. Or that the senior positions are equivalent to high-flying business executives (who must create value in a competitive environment and answer to shareholders). 

There are ways to benchmark civil service pay. One would be to take Hong Kong’s total government salaries bill as a percentage of total GDP, and then compare it with the equivalent stat from, say, Japan, South Korea,  Singapore, Oz, Canada, the UK, the US, France, Germany, etc. Or maybe compare average civil servants’ pay and average private-sector pay as percentages of GDP per capita across different countries. That would be interesting.

When I was a kid, I would avidly read Every Big Boy’s Book of Manly Things Savages Do (or something), which included descriptions of trial by ordeal. Supposedly, some African tribes would require suspects of wrongdoing to plunge a hand into boiling water. In practice, the water wasn’t really dangerously hot, but guilty people would reveal themselves by freaking out beforehand. So another approach would be to announce a rigorous comparative survey of any sort, and see how the civil servants react. Extreme wailing and panty-wetting would suggest that they are indeed overpaid and know it.

The HK Police tell Transit Jam he must remove the little Hong Kong flag on the header of his website, following a complaint. 

Maybe we could all find hundreds of other social media accounts and other sites using the flag and ‘complain’ about them. 

The amazing things that happen when you don’t get tried by a National Security court: Grandpa Chan cleared of unauthorized display of banners in a park…

Siding with 78-year old Chan Ki-kau at the Kowloon City Magistrates’ Courts on Tuesday, Magistrate Kestrel Lam rejected the prosecution’s argument that simply holding up banners without a permit constituted a criminal offence.

Lam’s decision surrounded whether “displaying” a banner should be interpreted broadly. “There is no logical reason why a much wider, all-embracing construction should be adopted,” Lam ruled.

…Defence counsel Tam earlier argued that a banner displayed at a country park, as stated in the offence, must have “a degree of permanence and habitual regularity,” citing an interpretation of the Public Health and Municipal Services Ordinance in a 2021 Court of Final Appeal ruling.

The court also accepted the defence’s argument that a broad, all-encompassing interpretation of what constitutes a banner display would infringe upon the constitutional right to freedom of expression, citing the apex court’s decision to overturn journalist Bao Choy’s conviction last June.

Why was this prosecution mounted in the first case? The state’s logic for prosecuting the Hong Kong 47 and Jimmy Lai, even though they didn’t do anything most people would see as illegal, is pretty clear: they are high-profile individuals and/or involved in high-profile activities that the authorities might views as threats. Chan was active in the protest movement, but barely more so than a couple of million other people. 

Will the government appeal, when there is plainly no serious public interest like safety, health, the environment or community peace and convenience at stake? Or will someone have the sense to leave the old guy alone?

Too Simple, Sometimes Naive (possibly paywalled) sees an easing in China’s Wolf Warrior diplomacy…

Wolf Warriorism’ became the accepted term for [a] nationalistic, aggressive form of discourse. No more demure Asian state. China had summoned a new-found arrogance, belligerence.

In 2021, I summed up the general tone as: “I’m China, f— you.”

But the movement failed spectacularly. And today, the state is in full-on damage-reparation mode (more on this at the end).

…In many ways, Wolf Warriorism was no more than Trumpism with Chinese Characteristics.

“Make America Great Again” became “New Era”.

…Despite idolising strongmen and absolute power, they had surprisingly brittle temperaments. “Traditional values” were under attack, a litany of transgressors including Dulce & Gabana, H&M, and Canada Goose all “hurt national feelings”.

From this milieu, Chinese media began picking up the fringes of western politics. Politicians like MP George Galloway, or MEP Clare Daley. Alternative voices, like Code Pink or Ben Norton. When businessmen stopped answering the phone, bookers grabbed Youtubers, happy for the exposure.

Internally, patriotism was the new currency. Rather than talent.

Chinese staff willing to say what others baulked at were promoted and pushed. One high-profile CGTN host admitted to me they felt pressured into ‘spicing up’ their content, in worry of being left behind by the new ethos, and overtaken by other colleagues.

It was a collective bubble of manufactured hate. An echo of the Cultural Revolution.

And it was an unmitigated disaster.

…Ambassadors have calmed their words. Sometime, around a year ago, there was an internal recognition that something wasn’t working.

Hong Kong. Xinjiang. Covid. Taiwan. Ukraine. South China Sea. Wave, after wave of negative stories has hit China this past decade, putting it on the wrong side of public opinion with much of the world. There’s only so much fighting the tide one can do, before you start drowning.

International public opinion of China is at now at historic lows, and falling. Not just with the western world but also with one-time friendly nations, like Philippines, Turkey and Hungary — or protests in nations the CPC have pumped full of Belt & Road cash.

…China’s economic squeeze, its over-reliance on exports, and its slow rebound in international visitors following the pandemic has only exacerbated the internal panic.

There’s now an active effort to soften China’s international image; cage the wolf.

…One of the earliest signs came at the very top in January 2023, when MoFA spokesman Zhao Lijian — probably the most bombastic of the CPC’s spokespeople — was reshuffled to an obscure department, at the division of borders and maritime affairs.

Most assert the ‘promotion’ was more to do with Lijian’s wife, and her problematic weibo posts — however it’s noticeable just how much his colleagues have toned down their statements since.

Will Hong Kong’s ‘despicable’ outraged official press releases calm down? I would miss them.

A Taipei Times feature on how Taiwanese businessmen are reducing the risks of doing business in China, and what everyone else can learn from them…

Though it appears that some processes and intellectual property rights are still maintained by Tesla in-house, they have handed over quite a bit of know-how to domestic suppliers, which combined with subsidies and support from the government has contributed to a booming Chinese electric vehicle industry. The CCP and the Shanghai municipal government knew what they were doing when they bent over backward to get Elon Musk to invest in a factory there.

Musk made a big mistake and there are already signs that the CCP and local officials are starting to make life difficult for Tesla. For example, there is an ever-widening list of places where Teslas are banned due to “security concerns,” starting logically with key government buildings and military bases, but expanding to highway operators, local authority agencies, convention centers and cultural centers.

The Hong Kong government launches a competition to find new names for a pair of pandas hitherto called An An and Ke Ke, and then scraps it… 

…the judges … selected the suggestion to keep the original names of the five-year-old pandas, as the Chinese pronunciation of “An” and “Ke” together resembles the word “encore,” symbolising ongoing good fortune for Hong Kong.

Doesn’t sound much like ‘encore’ at all, but we’ll believe you. RTHK finds supportive public feedback…

“I think it is so meaningful. There is more of a sense of belonging by keeping their original names,” said a woman surnamed To.

Another woman surnamed Li said she fears people might confuse the new An An with the previous panda of the same name, who passed away in 2022.

“I think it’s fine, but some people might think of the old An An. That An An lived in Hong Kong for a very long time, so we were really sad when he passed away. It should be fine to reuse the name because the new panda is used to this name anyway. It should help him adjust a lot easier,” she said.

CE John Lee adds…

“The government will continue to seize the opportunities presented by the giant pandas, actively collaborating with various sectors to organise more related activities and launch locally themed panda products, providing visitors with a unique panda experience and boosting Hong Kong’s tourism and retail industries.”

Reports say the competition attracted 22,600 responses. There are widespread suspicions that many citizens submitted ideas like Jimmy, Long Hair, Joshua, Gwyneth, etc.  

An HKFP op-ed asks why protests are more tolerated in the mainland than in Hong Kong these days…

In October this year former Hong Kong minister Anthony Cheung advised the government to relax its de facto ban on public protest. ‘If I were government, I would encourage certain groups to assemble. [To win back international support] you have to prove that assembly is still possible.” That is, authorities should indicate their willingness to consider applications for demonstrations on a wider range of issues than is currently the case.

When asked to comment on Cheung’s advice, Chief Executive John Lee said such a view was narrow-minded. “There are many ways to express an opinion such as through seminars – there is no single avenue.” Some protests had been hijacked in the past, he said. “The most important thing is to ensure that others are not affected.”

The police caution that protest must not violate “the rights and freedoms of others.” What does this mean? Not creating a traffic disturbance? Not occupying public space that others could use? Not calling attention to an issue or cause with which others (including the authorities) may disagree, find obnoxious, or distasteful?

If being supportive of some, rather than virtually zero, freedom of assembly is ‘narrow-minded’, what does a ‘broad-minded’ person think?

The Financial Secretary says it is ‘too early’ to consider pay cuts for civil servants to fix the government’s budget deficit. Good phrase! It could mean that things aren’t that bad yet, so it might not be necessary. Or it could mean that yes, we are in a mess – but are still too terrified to admit it. Either way, Paul Chan’s comments seem to imply that current public-sector salary levels are in some way related to high land valuations/revenues.

The Hong Kong government replaces two senior officials. One of them – the tourism, pandas and mega-events minister Kevin Yeung – recently complained bitterly when an RTHK reporter asked him a pointed question, prompting the station to remind its reporters to adopt more positive angles in future. He is replaced by civil servant Rosanna Law. The other is transport minister Lam Sai-hung. (More on their failings here.) CE John Lee damns the outgoing pair with some faint praise…

“I really think that they have contributed their best [and have given] their best efforts for Hong Kong. So I thank them sincerely and I hope that they will have a good life, happy life after their departure,” Lee said.

“But I want to do more in these two and a half years. I want to get the people who will fit my criteria in building more results and ensuring the community understand and appreciate government policies. And I think I’ve got the best choices,” the CE added.

And to think Lee was lauding Kev for his noble work on monkey deaths just a few weeks ago.

Given the pay scale for these jobs (some HK$360,000 a month), you might expect Ms Law to show some initiative and argue against getting obsessed over panda bears and tourist numbers. But no…

…Law said top of her agenda would be to prepare for the introduction of the pandas to the public at Ocean Park, ensuring the smooth implementation of the multi-entry visa scheme for Shenzhen residents and preparing for next year’s National Games.

Joel Chan points out…

As of today, Hong Kong will need to average at least 189,000 daily visitors to reach the Tourism Board’s goal of 46 million visitors for 2024

Why do they set a target? (What do you call 200 tourists suspended in the air on the Wheel of Death? A start. Maybe not.)

Cathay Pacific removes an episode of cartoon Family Guy because of a visual reference to Tank Man… 

A complaint was raised against the flagship carrier on social media, in light of the city’s national security laws: “We emphasise that the content of the programme does not represent Cathay Pacific’s standpoint,” a spokesperson told HKFP on Thursday, “and have immediately arranged to have the programme removed as soon as possible.”

…“We have promptly informed the service provider of the seriousness of the incident, and have instructed them to thoroughly investigate the cause and strengthen oversight to ensure that similar incidents do not occur in the future.”

The absurdity is the point: any company that can’t afford to displease the powers that be must publicly humiliate itself as an act of contrition. (Republican congressmen kowtowing to Trump to survive the next primary election will know the feeling.) In Cathay’s case, there’s a lot riding on it. The company has a major brand name, aircraft, skilled staff, slots and route licences, which Mainland carriers would be happy to get their hands on.

Chart of the day, via David Webb: an all-time high of 40% of prisoners in Hong Kong are on remand – 3,790 people presumed guilty before trial.

Some weekend reading…

A review of The Troublemaker: How Jimmy Lai Became a Billionaire, Hong Kong’s Greatest Dissident, and China’s Most Feared Critic by Mark L. Clifford…

Lai is a man who thoroughly confounds the CCP with its reductionist and distorted view of a corruptible human nature. He sticks to transcendent principles and cannot be bought off or intimidated. For Beijing, nothing evokes more terror than the embodiment of its lies exposed by such men. Lai may remain imprisoned but his moral courage is forever a part of Hong Kong’s history.

ASPI Strategist on China’s replacement of Mongolian with ‘Northern frontier’ culture…

Chinese authorities have launched a campaign to change the term that people use to refer to Mongolian culture and to the cultural and historical heritage of the Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region (IMAR) in a move aimed at eroding Mongolian identity and sense of homeland.

The Chinese Communist Party’s new official term, bei jiang wenhua, meaning ‘northern frontier culture’, eliminates reference to Mongolians, one of China’s 56 officially recognised ethnic groups. Since July 2023, Inner Mongolia state media articles, official websites, party statements, party-organised children’s activities, and official social media posts have widely promoted the phrase. The party’s regional propaganda office has also founded an academic journal dedicated to ‘northern frontier culture’, and Inner Mongolia’s premier state-run academic institute has opened a ‘northern frontier’ research centre.

The adoption of the term appears to be part of the CCP’s growing campaign to weaken Mongolian ethnic identity and instead push a Han-centric national identity through the elimination of Mongolian language education and other measures.

…In October 2023, Zheng Chengyan, vice director of the Inner Mongolia Museum, wrote in an essay posted to the Inner Mongolia culture and tourism department website that ‘northern frontier culture as a regional culture has been jointly created by all ethnic groups in the northern frontier region since ancient times and is an important part of Chinese culture’.

One small problem: an actual independent Republic of Mongolia, with cultural identity intact, exists right next door

Chinese academic Wang Wen of the Chongyang Institute for Financial Studies at Renmin University recommends lowering barriers to foreign information and contacts as a way to boost China’s confidence…

However, after spending a few more days attending such forums or engaging in these exchanges abroad, a different feeling gradually emerges: a growing sense of comfort and enrichment. Cutting-edge information, hot topics, fierce discussions and brainstorming sessions abound, all without excessive formalities, empty phrases or rigid expressions. Reflecting on the relaxed pace of those “laid-back” foreign cities—like Paris, Berlin and Istanbul, which I recently visited—one notices a refreshing feeling of ease and naturalness all around: a cup of coffee, a daily newspaper, a group of friends, a broad smile and an unhurried afternoon. 

…Yet one can’t quite shake the feeling that Chinese scholars still tend to present their analyses as framed within official discourse, displaying not only a lack of basic adaptation of political ideas to academia, but also underscoring the intellectual poverty of Chinese academic theory in recent years. In contrast, international academia is continually introducing fresh concepts and insights. It’s hard to imagine how American scholars would maintain their dominant position in global discourse if they simply regurgitated White House policy or repeated their president’s remarks at international forums.

…Even more concerning is the increasingly severe blockage of information flows between China and the rest of the world. In the 2023 statistics on the global internet language share, Chinese ranked only 13th, below English, Spanish, German, Japanese, French, Russian, Portuguese, Italian, Dutch, Turkish, Polish and Persian. Moreover, historical data shows a decline in the global share of Chinese-language webpages in recent years, dropping from 4.3% in 2013 to just 1.2% currently. In fact, between 2021 and 2022, the Chinese language lagged behind even Vietnamese in this regard.

…After drinking deeply from the waters of foreign discourse, a majority of Chinese citizens has developed basic immunity against the infiltration of Western ideologies. They are now able to confront the storms of international public opinion with “cultural confidence” [文化自信]. They are now more and more capable of filtering out those absurd, tedious and occasionally malicious talking points, and are far more willing to retaliate of their own accord against propaganda attacks by foreign anti-China forces. 

This is an ad-free place, but I want to push an excellent service provider. If you want your knives sharpened: Blade N Beans, 1003 Harvest Building, 29-35 Wing Kut Street, Central… 

Now I have to get back to watching Olivia Squizzle. She will also name your children.