The Crop-Haired One rises from the grave

Treating Hong Kong’s revolt against Beijing’s encroachment and government illegitimacy as a law-and-order problem isn’t working. So let’s treat it as a law-and-order problem masterminded by evil foreign forces!

Beijing’s first attempt at imposing a depressingly incompetent leader on Hong Kong – Tung Chee-hwa – was, looking back, pretty lame. (He was halfway nice; he tried to empathize; he appeared sorry. Complete amateur.) It took second and third tries in the form of increasingly disastrous Donald Tsang and demonic-as-well CY Leung, before the CCP hit the target with zombie-bureaucrat Carrie Lam, who has pushed the city up to the edge of its ultimate death-spiral as a free society.

But poor old Tofu-for-Brains seems to be having one last go, declaring that Hong Kong’s recent unrest has been stirred up by Taiwan and the US.

He is, sadly, showing his age*.

There was a time when a KMT-run Republic of China police-state on Formosa engaged in such devious shenanigans as assassination attempts against Communist leaders on foreign soil and secret nuclear weapons development with Israel and South Africa. Today, under democratically elected cat-loving Tsai Ing-wen, Taiwan’s boldest overseas subversion strategy is to organize international aboriginal children’s dance festivals. (And, in fairness, some magnificent trolling.)  

As for the US, China should arrest the CIA agitator operatives as spies and break off diplomatic relations – or shut up. Of course, it’s not that simple. The ranting about foreign interference is aimed at boosting xenophobic patriotism among Mainland audiences (for whom the sight of white faces at a demonstration in Hong Kong is otherwise inexplicable). And, in a way, the paranoid CCP spokesmen do have a point, if by ‘foreign forces’ they mean abhorrent alien ideas like free speech, rule of law and human rights.

Elsewhere today in Stories You Are Supposed to Take Seriously…

Revealed: the PLA’s plan to take control of Hong Kong. Sort of what you would expect, although the procedures described here seem to give a lot of decision-making authority to the Hong Kong government, which as we all know is a largely fictitious body right now. But the key message is: an out-of-control police force freaking out with tons of tear gas is actually A Good Thing For You and reassuring because it keeps the Chinese military out.

Also revealed: why Beijing is choosing Shenzhen to be the special dragonhead powerhouse innovation tech trailblazer for the Bay Area Hub-Zone. It’s all because waffle blather visionary development yah boo. And the key message is: because you people in Hong Kong are very very naughty and ungrateful and disobedient, you must be punished and suffer – so no special themed tech inno-hub-zone for you [angrily slaps ‘quasi-first-tier city’ sticker onto map].

Finally, a scintillating glimmer of hope for a win-win resolution to the Hong Kong crisis casually appears towards the end of this article on the economic cost of the unrest. If Beijing fails to stop screwing up Hong Kong, the writer argues, it will discourage international involvement in Belt and Road. (Pause for effect while cosmic profundity of full awfulness sinks in…) Makes sense? Doesn’t make sense? Who cares? Worth a try!

*Many lament. It’s a tragedy that those who get sucked into the CCP system must spout whatever inanities they are told to. The distressed and miserable look on the face makes it all the more painful to watch.

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14 Responses to The Crop-Haired One rises from the grave

  1. Chinese Netizen says:

    To be fair, CENO Lam would have been a GREAT “leader” for some place like Wuhan or Fuzhou.

    As for Mr Dung the wildly successful shipping impresario…*SMH*…why do these illegitimate appointees really think they have some kind of soapbox fount of wisdom to chime in with? Are they on speed dial from Zhongnanhai and given instructions? Again…*SMH*…

  2. Stanley Lieber says:

    Mr. Tung says: “With Beijing’s backing and various sectors’ support behind the government, we are capable of breaking the social deadlock.”

    Those damn various sectors are always popping up in the most unlikely places.

  3. Chris Maden says:

    Had me laughing in these sad times. Well done!

  4. Guest says:

    Isn’t Taiwan supposed to be part of China from the PRC point of view?

    In that case, it’s not foreign.

    Tung’s masters in Beijing may want to give him a tongue lashing for his slip.

  5. Reactor#4 says:

    A lot of people are having a right old gripe about how cr4p HK has turned out 20+ years after the Handover. What were they expecting? Also, things need to be placed in context. How rubbish are many of the governing people/parties in places where they have democratic elections? Large numbers of people in the UK, USA, France, Germany, Canada, Australia etc. loathe those who are running (?ruining) their countries.

    The key thing is to have extremely low expectations. If you do that plus are smart, then you work out how to milk the people and/or system you find yourself in. One other thing. Life for most people has never been better. High longevity, comfort, low religious suppression, smart phones, unlimited supplies of avacados, internet pornography etc. etc. The whingers should stop whinging and enjoy the good bits. It’s not going to get any better and we’ll all be dead pretty soon (we get about 1,000 months of life and then we are dead for eternity).

  6. Chinese Netizen says:

    Actually it’s the PRC that’s a part of Taiwan. But Taiwan treats it like an embarrassing retarded cousin.

  7. Irritated Observer says:

    We get it. Reactor #4, you are older, wiser, and just want to enjoy your twilight years in a place with only transactional value to you. For those of us with longer timelines and/or more of a sense of principles, we should just sod off.

    Arguing over whether other places may or may not be better off with democratic elections is a red herring. With a responsive government that took into account the needs and desires of the populace (let’s say, Hong Kong before the handover for instance), the existence of a properly functioning democracy might have been a moot point. The extradition bill saga and failure to resolve the protests and take into account public opinion means that the 2014 Occupy protests have now been clearly vindicated in the eyes of the larger public. (Consider that even the likes of Alex Lo might now realise his earlier mistake.) By not delivering on an independent inquiry when first requested, and even at this late date still steadfastly refusing, a desire now shared both by the general populace and even the usual vested interests in Hong Kong, it has been clearly demonstrated that the government and the police fail to have any accountability in the absence of the formal mechanism of elections. This is not something people are going to leave lying down however many times you mumble that developed countries don’t have it better.

    The steady erosion of Two Systems in One Country, Two Systems and the lack of accountability of the Hong Kong government to the public were certainly not expected by most. You may have struck a Faustian bargain with your omniscient projection of the downward trajectory, but it might be perhaps a little arrogant to believe everyone else did or does.

    While you certainly have a right to your opinion, in the face of the evidence, I think the rest of us can more clearly justify ours. Can we please not have your grumbling unless you have better substantive points to make? Thanks.

  8. @Reactor – “low religious suppression” – are you speaking of Hong Kong, or globally?
    If the latter, then unless you are a Muslim in Xinjiang or Burma, or a Christian in Pakistan, or a Bahai in Iran, or the wrong kind of Muslim in most Muslim countries, or a Falun Gong believer in our northern neighbour, etc. etc. In fact it’s hard to think of any religion that isn’t persecuted somewhere in the world.

  9. Stanley Lieber says:

    “You never had it so good” has been tested and has been found wanting.

  10. Headache says:

    Just when I thought the pettiness of the mainland regime could no longer surprise or amuse, we have our new the new motto – “Hong Kong: China’s quasi-first tier city”.

    Irritated Observer, very well said. Some will refuse to get it, but it’s uplifting to see (with a hat-tip to Cassowary yesterday, too) that so many of those with the biggest stake in all this do.

  11. Paul says:

    I see this slightly differently…

    The interesting thing about the PLA “warning” video is that it envisages urban conflict against an armed opponent. The only possible armed opponent in HK is the HK Police. So if it’s a warning to anyone it must be a warning to them.

    The fact that the CCP are getting twitchy about whose side the HK Police might be on leads one to contemplate some very messy outcomes.

  12. Din Gao says:

    @Paul

    The HK military have always had a worst case police scenario Top Secret action file; both before and after 97…

    Woops…

  13. Probably says:

    Are the Hong Kong Tourist Board now going to adopt the phrase, “Hong Kong: China’s Quasi First Tier City”? A lot more accurate than the lie that is “Asia’s World City”.

  14. Mr Miyagis Ghost says:

    Looks like Hong Kong has blown its social credit score…

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